Welcome, welcome all! Welcome to the most dramatic pizza story I am certain you've ever heard. Yesterday, I was on an emotional rollercoaster of sauce, cheese, crust, sausage, and eventually, frustrated beer drinking.
So awhile back, I had a pizza somewhere with a delicious garlic sauce instead of traditional red gravy. It was chewy, cheesy, garlic-y, rich and delightful, and for the life of me, I CANNOT REMEMBER WHERE I HAD IT! So, if you were with me when I had this pizza, please comment and remind me of where that was, because as good as it tasted, I have deleted it from my memory completely.
In order to jog my memory, I set out on a quest to duplicate this pizza. Now, really, the only unusual aspect of this dish is the sauce, which is good, because it was the only part of this friggin pizza that turned out like I planned!
To make this delicious garlic sauce that spawned my afternoon/evening of pizza misfortune, chop five large, peeled garlic cloves into quarters. Chop in a small food processor until very finely chopped. Next, add 1/3 cup olive oil. Process until the oil and garlic have combined to be almost the color of vanilla pudding. Add 2 tablespoons of OLIVE OIL MAYONAISE. Any other kind of mayonaise will be way too mayonaisy, so it really needs to be olive oil based. Honestly I probably bleed olive oil, which probably doesn't surprise you if you've read much of this blog. Season with a teaspoon each basil, oregano, black pepper and rosemary. Add about a teaspoon and a half of kosher salt. Process until it looks like and is the consistency of salad dressing. You can taste it but at this point it is so garlicy it will probably blow the top of your head off. Mission accomplished.
Now here's the part that still makes me want to drink. I had foolishly purchased one of those pre-made pizza crusts in a can (*cough* PILLSBURY!), because this dinner was supposed to be quick and easy. I opened the can to find that somehow in the packing process, some canning moron had broken the pie crust, which is apparently a way bigger problem than I realized at the time. See, with most doughs, you just kind of mush it back together and maybe add some oil or flour... NOT SO. Once I began to mush, I realized that this "dough" was mostly air, and so doing, had decreased the size of my "dough" wad to the size of a tennis ball. Nice. It had also become the consistency of a large booger. When I attempted to roll it out, it just ripped and tore like a giant booger, and made a mess of my pizza pan, so I threw that shit out. Because who wants to eat a booger/latex balloon hybrid that is pumped full of air? Probably not even a goat.
So I realized that I in no way could half-ass this quite like I wanted to, so I did the natural thing for an angry hungry woman to do. I rummaged angrily through the cabinets looking for a hot roll mix or yeast until I knocked a bottle of Worchestshire sauce off the shelf and broke it open all over my way-overpriced Toms. Obviously this is all my fault, but this is when I start hating the world. So far I'm into this about an hour an a half and all I have is some sauce and a booger wad in the trash. So I hose my feet off and get into the car to go to the store, and buy a hot roll mix and kitty litter. Once I get the 20 pounds of kitty litter and the mix, I get in the express line at Safeway. I'm behind a semi-elderly couple who is purchasing a bag of fried chicken, and a Woman's Day magazine. Normally, adorable elderly couples warm the cockles of my heart. Not today. I went to rest my ginormous load of litter on the conveyor belt (BECAUSE IT IS HEAVY), and apparently it was WAY too close to this lady's magazine because she looks at me, gives me this nasty ass look, and scoots her magazine as far away from my kitty litter as she can get it (when it was a cavernous two feet away to begin with). So to emphasize how I WAS NOT TRYING TO DAMAGE HER MAGAZINE WITH MY POOP SAND, I slammed the plastic divider down on the conveyor belt and looked at her right back. And she decided that maybe this was not a fight she could win. Finally I made it out of that place and got home to my sauce.
Now, after you've read all that crap, I'm going to tell you about this pizza. You can really use any crust, but I do not recommend that Pillsbury crap in a can. If it is raw, prebake it for 15 minutes at the temperature designated in the recipe.
To assemble, spread garlic sauce liberally all over the crust. Layer with whatever you like, but I used hot Italian sauage, rings of onion, cherry bomb peppers (sliced and minus the seeds...), mozarella and sliced tomatos. Bake at 375 degrees Fahrenheit for about 15 minutes, more if the cheese isn't starting to bubble up brown. Eat that tricky bastard! Before it can get away or deflate into a booger.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Hooray for Fiber!
Howdy y'all!!!
Sorry I haven't been around much lately, I just got back from my music educator's conference, and had been decidedly deprived of time to cook you anything delicious to read.
The problem/great thing about conference is that it's full of junk food. So all week I ate alot of delicious cheeseburgers, curly fries, and chicken nuggets (one of my guiltiest guilty pleasures). I also consumed some pizza and roughly 60 ounces of coffee, which sadly is no exaggeration.
As a result, the only thing I've wanted to eat the last 24 hours is vegetables. Do you know what makes me eat alot of vegetables? Make your own taco night, that's what. Several years ago my Hunnies started the tradition of essentially eating alot of tacos and making up silly margaritas. What comes along with tacos is my homemade guacamole, which can either be eaten on tacos, or out of the bowl with a spoon like pudding.
Start with three avacodos that are just ripe enough to be almost rotten, but not. Don't worry, you'll eat it all so this won't be a problem. To core them, CAREFULLY, slice them in half, using the pit as a guide. Pull apart the two halves. CAREFULLY hold one half in your hand with your fingers OUT OF THE WAY, hit the pit with the sharp edge of the knife, pull it out. Roll the pit on the counter top to safely release the knife. Spoon out the green fruit. Mush it up violently, and squirt with about two tablespoons of lemon or lime juice, this will keep the avocado from becoming roughly the same shade and consistency as baby feces. Which is not something that you should ever eat on tacos. Dice a quarter of a red onion and 1 tomato finely, and fold in. Season with a teaspoon cracked black pepper, a teaspoon of celery salt, garlic salt to taste, one tablespoon chopped cilantro, and a half teaspoon each chili powder, and CINNAMON. I did this accidentally once, and will never do without it again. It brings out the sweetness in the avocado and the red onion, and helps to balance the saltiness of the rest of the tacos. Sprinkle with red chili flakes, gorge.
Sorry I haven't been around much lately, I just got back from my music educator's conference, and had been decidedly deprived of time to cook you anything delicious to read.
The problem/great thing about conference is that it's full of junk food. So all week I ate alot of delicious cheeseburgers, curly fries, and chicken nuggets (one of my guiltiest guilty pleasures). I also consumed some pizza and roughly 60 ounces of coffee, which sadly is no exaggeration.
As a result, the only thing I've wanted to eat the last 24 hours is vegetables. Do you know what makes me eat alot of vegetables? Make your own taco night, that's what. Several years ago my Hunnies started the tradition of essentially eating alot of tacos and making up silly margaritas. What comes along with tacos is my homemade guacamole, which can either be eaten on tacos, or out of the bowl with a spoon like pudding.
Start with three avacodos that are just ripe enough to be almost rotten, but not. Don't worry, you'll eat it all so this won't be a problem. To core them, CAREFULLY, slice them in half, using the pit as a guide. Pull apart the two halves. CAREFULLY hold one half in your hand with your fingers OUT OF THE WAY, hit the pit with the sharp edge of the knife, pull it out. Roll the pit on the counter top to safely release the knife. Spoon out the green fruit. Mush it up violently, and squirt with about two tablespoons of lemon or lime juice, this will keep the avocado from becoming roughly the same shade and consistency as baby feces. Which is not something that you should ever eat on tacos. Dice a quarter of a red onion and 1 tomato finely, and fold in. Season with a teaspoon cracked black pepper, a teaspoon of celery salt, garlic salt to taste, one tablespoon chopped cilantro, and a half teaspoon each chili powder, and CINNAMON. I did this accidentally once, and will never do without it again. It brings out the sweetness in the avocado and the red onion, and helps to balance the saltiness of the rest of the tacos. Sprinkle with red chili flakes, gorge.
Friday, October 14, 2011
Butters Knows Where the Good Stuff Is...
Butters can't resist one of his Daddy's chocolate chip cookies! He got caught on camera eyeballing their chocolatey goodness. There are cravings Science Diet can't satisfy...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Pork and Pesto for your Momma!
Wow! I'm really amazed by how many of you are reading this! Thanks so much for your time, I'll do my best to keep y'all updated as regularly as possible!
Keeping up with our theme of things that make us very happy and chubby, today we're talking about meals that impress your parents. Everyone wants to prove to their parents that they're not total schlubs. Especially when your parents have fed you as well as mine have over the years. My Mom is a kitchen Goddess and I can only hope to possess half of the ability she does, so no pressure or anything.
So my Mom came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and what with our fancy new kitchen and all, Matt, Butters and I really wanted to cook something with a little extra oomph. Well, Matt wanted to make a big pie and ice cream that tastes like whiskey, which had alot of extra oomph.
On our menu (which I thought about all week...), was Balsamic Galzed Pork Tenderloin, Baked Brie with Roasted Garlic, Pan Roasted Carrots, and Homemade Pesto over Farfalle. Matt will coorespond later with his whiskey ice cream recipe.
For the pork, start with about a 3 lb tenderloin. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Mix together 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar, 3 tablespoons whole seedy dijon mustard, 1/4 cup olive oil, 3 tablespoons orange marmalade, a tsp of basil, and 2 tsp each salt and cracked black pepper. Turn a pan on medium high heat to sear off the pork on all sides in about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. DRY YOUR MEAT OFF FIRST! Remember? I thought so. Once your meat is brown on all sides, use tongs to place it in an adequately sized baking dish. Pour glaze over meat, and throw it into the oven. It should be 150 degrees of awesome in about a half an hour. What you DON'T do, is think you have awesome Michael Symon endorsed AllClad cookware (which I do, coincidentally...), and throw the whole pan in the oven like the commercial says on television. If you DO do this, don't forget about the metal handle, which will be freaking HOT, and will blister your hand if you try to take it out of the oven without a mit after 2 glasses of wine. Not that I did that exact thing, just I can imagine that it would be painful, and could potentially make you look like a schlub.
For the pesto, combine 3 cups basil leaves (which seems like alot, but they'll all pulvarize themselves into a little pile soon enough), a handful of your choice of nut (traditionally it would be pine nuts, but if you haven't been to the store lately you'll have to trade your left nostril to buy them, so I like cashews), a tablespoon of lemon juice, 5 anchovie fillets, 2 tablespoons parmesan cheese, a tablespoon of black pepper, and about 1/2 cup olive oil in a food processor. Blend until smooth, and pour over 1 lb farfalle pasta.
For the carrots, heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil on medium high in a frying pan. Cut 3 large carrots on the bias into 1/4 inch slices. Sautee the carrots with salt and pepper to taste until slightly carmelized by their own sugars. The littlest slices should be pretty brown, but that's what makes them taste like something.
I made the baked brie for an appetizer with crostini. Just blast the crap out of the brie on 400 in the oven with some cloves of garlic and olive oil drizzled on top in a covered baking dish. Spread it on any crusty bread or your favorite cracker.
And that my friends is how you make an anti-schlub, Mom impressing meal! Now bandage up your burny hands and get out there into the real world and fire up your ovens! You're a big kid now!
Keeping up with our theme of things that make us very happy and chubby, today we're talking about meals that impress your parents. Everyone wants to prove to their parents that they're not total schlubs. Especially when your parents have fed you as well as mine have over the years. My Mom is a kitchen Goddess and I can only hope to possess half of the ability she does, so no pressure or anything.
So my Mom came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and what with our fancy new kitchen and all, Matt, Butters and I really wanted to cook something with a little extra oomph. Well, Matt wanted to make a big pie and ice cream that tastes like whiskey, which had alot of extra oomph.
On our menu (which I thought about all week...), was Balsamic Galzed Pork Tenderloin, Baked Brie with Roasted Garlic, Pan Roasted Carrots, and Homemade Pesto over Farfalle. Matt will coorespond later with his whiskey ice cream recipe.
For the pork, start with about a 3 lb tenderloin. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Mix together 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar, 3 tablespoons whole seedy dijon mustard, 1/4 cup olive oil, 3 tablespoons orange marmalade, a tsp of basil, and 2 tsp each salt and cracked black pepper. Turn a pan on medium high heat to sear off the pork on all sides in about 2 tablespoons of olive oil. DRY YOUR MEAT OFF FIRST! Remember? I thought so. Once your meat is brown on all sides, use tongs to place it in an adequately sized baking dish. Pour glaze over meat, and throw it into the oven. It should be 150 degrees of awesome in about a half an hour. What you DON'T do, is think you have awesome Michael Symon endorsed AllClad cookware (which I do, coincidentally...), and throw the whole pan in the oven like the commercial says on television. If you DO do this, don't forget about the metal handle, which will be freaking HOT, and will blister your hand if you try to take it out of the oven without a mit after 2 glasses of wine. Not that I did that exact thing, just I can imagine that it would be painful, and could potentially make you look like a schlub.
For the pesto, combine 3 cups basil leaves (which seems like alot, but they'll all pulvarize themselves into a little pile soon enough), a handful of your choice of nut (traditionally it would be pine nuts, but if you haven't been to the store lately you'll have to trade your left nostril to buy them, so I like cashews), a tablespoon of lemon juice, 5 anchovie fillets, 2 tablespoons parmesan cheese, a tablespoon of black pepper, and about 1/2 cup olive oil in a food processor. Blend until smooth, and pour over 1 lb farfalle pasta.
For the carrots, heat 3 tablespoons of olive oil on medium high in a frying pan. Cut 3 large carrots on the bias into 1/4 inch slices. Sautee the carrots with salt and pepper to taste until slightly carmelized by their own sugars. The littlest slices should be pretty brown, but that's what makes them taste like something.
I made the baked brie for an appetizer with crostini. Just blast the crap out of the brie on 400 in the oven with some cloves of garlic and olive oil drizzled on top in a covered baking dish. Spread it on any crusty bread or your favorite cracker.
And that my friends is how you make an anti-schlub, Mom impressing meal! Now bandage up your burny hands and get out there into the real world and fire up your ovens! You're a big kid now!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Shrimpios Italianos!
This whole writing down recipes thing is really kind of foreign to me, on account of I hate recipe shopping... You know, where you go to the store with like, a list and crap like a responsible adult, and you just buy what you need to make the recipe you're planning on, and maybe a SlimJim at the front counter because you just can't take it anymore? I hate that. I like to go to the store for toothpaste and end up with all sorts of amazing things. Like, discount brie, and salami logs, and crusty baguettes, and 2 for 1 cans of anchovie fillets, and maybe a german chocolate cake. This is also known as impulse buying. Impulse buying happens way more when you're hungry and don't bring a list to the store. This leads me into my next point about about going to the grocery store while so hungry you could knaw off your own elbow.
So I started off today really hungry, and then I ate some whole grains. I don't care who you are or who you think you're kidding, that really doesn't do crap for much longer than an hour. So then I had a wrap thing from the coffee place in the education building, and that was okay, but then I went to the gym, and then I just got hungry again. By the time I got done with class at like, midnight (or 7, but hungry hours are like dog years), I was way too hungry to think about eating. So I went to the store and bought some shrimp because it was a protein under $5. Then I bought a crusty baguette and a very festive candle shaped like a pumpkin.
The following is probably the best pasta dish I've come up with while semi-comatose from hunger. It would be good even if I was at my average daily level of incoherency.
Put a half a box of penne on to boil. Sautee one large onion, roughly chopped and a heaping tablespoon of chopped garlic in olive oil on medium high heat. Stir in 2 large tomatoes, diced. Pour in 2 cups of dry white wine, and one cup of chicken stock. Add a tablespoon of basil and a teaspoon of black pepper. Let reduce about one third, add 3 tablespoons of butter and let melt. Stir in raw shrimp. Let stock boil shrimp and continue to reduce. Once shrimp are cooked, stir in a tablespoon of flour for thickening. Strain pasta, and toss in shrimp and sauce.
Things that make Butters fat in the Wintertime.
I had to share this because it is my most favorite hot beverage of all time. Not only does it taste like candy marinated in liquor, but it can cure the common cold (or at least make you forget you have a cold...), it is also a suitable replacement for coffee on those days where you just need a little kick in the panties to get moving in the morning (but NOT driving, as it contains a considerable amount of whiskey and Butters would never want any of his dear amigos to meet with any misfortune at the hands of his favorite beverage... we just simply don't condone that kind of behavior).
Set water on to boil. In a mug, mix a healthy (as in large) teaspoon of sugar, a tablespoon of lemon juice (or orange juice for a festive remix), and 1 or 2 shots of Fireball cinnamon whiskey (depending on the day you're having). Put a black tea bag in on top of your sugar-lemon-hooch mixture. Fill rest of cup with boiling water. Thank me later.
Set water on to boil. In a mug, mix a healthy (as in large) teaspoon of sugar, a tablespoon of lemon juice (or orange juice for a festive remix), and 1 or 2 shots of Fireball cinnamon whiskey (depending on the day you're having). Put a black tea bag in on top of your sugar-lemon-hooch mixture. Fill rest of cup with boiling water. Thank me later.
Pot Faux-st (Get it? Har har har)
So I've been really excited lately, because if you haven't noticed, it's finally Fall. I love everything about this seaon. The colors, the smells, the cool weather, the sweaters, but most of all the food :) When I was little, my mom would make this incredible pot roast, it took hours. The whole house would smell like carrots, potatoes, fresh herbs, and sweet, sweet delicious beef.
Now, I am about as impatient as I love all these things, which is alot. A WHOLE lot of impatient. So last night (which was a Monday, this is important because Monday's are awful, which contributes largely to my consistent impatience...), I came up with this abreviated version of Italian pot roast. The great thing about this is you can switch out any of the ingredients for virtually any other version of itself and still have a pretty cohesive pot of comfort food.
First, you start off with about three pounds of any big old cut of beef. I used a chuck roast cut into two slabs. Now listen up because this next part is super important. TOWEL OFF YOUR MEAT. Don't be sassy, of course I'm talking about the roast. My mother told me this, and Julia Child told me this, and I never actually believed it until I tried it, but your meat WILL NOT BE BROWN if you don't dry it off a little. Next, season your meat with salt and pepper and whatever else you want, but it'll all just wash off in the stock anyway. Is it dry? If it isn't, DRY IT OFF! This is your last chance! WHEN YOUR MEAT IS DRY, put it in a deep walled , oiled, pan on medium high heat. Flip it over until all sides are brown, which will happen much more efficiently if you have dried off your meat. Am I getting through? Good. Once it's brown on all sides, remove from the pan and place it in some sort of roasting vessel. I chose a casserole. Now, cut up three HUGE carrots, two onions, and three to fourish large tomatoes. Re-oil your pan (as this is Italian pot roast, olive oil would be best, but grease her up however you like), and place the chopped carrots and onions in to brown. Add three to four cloves chopped garlic (I like to leave them whole as a little surprise later on but some are not as fond of that as me...). Once brown, add in your tomatoes. Sautee until semi mushy. Add a tablespoon each rosemary and basil, and salt and pepper to taste. Now for the fun part. Add about 1 cup of white wine and 1 cup of your choice of stock. I personally was only in position of chicken at the time so that's what I used. Let it reduce slightly. Pour over your browned meat, put a lid on it, and throw it in the oven at 400 degrees for about and hour. This is best served with mashed potatoes or egg noodles, your choice. Matt and I went with potatoes.
Pot roast is Butters very favorite dinner. He gets little tiny bites of it whenever we make it. Sometimes we leave it in different places on the floor so he can hunt it and feel like a real cat.
Now, I am about as impatient as I love all these things, which is alot. A WHOLE lot of impatient. So last night (which was a Monday, this is important because Monday's are awful, which contributes largely to my consistent impatience...), I came up with this abreviated version of Italian pot roast. The great thing about this is you can switch out any of the ingredients for virtually any other version of itself and still have a pretty cohesive pot of comfort food.
First, you start off with about three pounds of any big old cut of beef. I used a chuck roast cut into two slabs. Now listen up because this next part is super important. TOWEL OFF YOUR MEAT. Don't be sassy, of course I'm talking about the roast. My mother told me this, and Julia Child told me this, and I never actually believed it until I tried it, but your meat WILL NOT BE BROWN if you don't dry it off a little. Next, season your meat with salt and pepper and whatever else you want, but it'll all just wash off in the stock anyway. Is it dry? If it isn't, DRY IT OFF! This is your last chance! WHEN YOUR MEAT IS DRY, put it in a deep walled , oiled, pan on medium high heat. Flip it over until all sides are brown, which will happen much more efficiently if you have dried off your meat. Am I getting through? Good. Once it's brown on all sides, remove from the pan and place it in some sort of roasting vessel. I chose a casserole. Now, cut up three HUGE carrots, two onions, and three to fourish large tomatoes. Re-oil your pan (as this is Italian pot roast, olive oil would be best, but grease her up however you like), and place the chopped carrots and onions in to brown. Add three to four cloves chopped garlic (I like to leave them whole as a little surprise later on but some are not as fond of that as me...). Once brown, add in your tomatoes. Sautee until semi mushy. Add a tablespoon each rosemary and basil, and salt and pepper to taste. Now for the fun part. Add about 1 cup of white wine and 1 cup of your choice of stock. I personally was only in position of chicken at the time so that's what I used. Let it reduce slightly. Pour over your browned meat, put a lid on it, and throw it in the oven at 400 degrees for about and hour. This is best served with mashed potatoes or egg noodles, your choice. Matt and I went with potatoes.
Pot roast is Butters very favorite dinner. He gets little tiny bites of it whenever we make it. Sometimes we leave it in different places on the floor so he can hunt it and feel like a real cat.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Pear Tarts and Food Network Star
Since before I could hold a saxophone, I was standing in front of my mom's gigantic video camera pretending to make chocolate chip cookies on TV. Thus, it was only natural I force my husband to stand in the kitchen with me for several hours while I wore a sundress and pretended to make Pear and Brie tarts for an audition video for Next Food Network Star, Season 8.
This all started because I've been talking about auditioning for the show for the last 3 years. Finally, I went online to look up audition requirements for the show at the prodding of my dear New Jersey friend Guido, also know as Danielle but she's a guido through and through. I discovered that in all actuality, auditions were going to be held in a conference room behind a hotel in Las Vegas that we were going to be staying at the very next week, on the very same day we were going to be there for my Grandma Dee's 80th birthday. Obviously I love my grandmother more than Food Network so I couldn't miss her party for the auditions, but how weird is that? The odds are like, 1 in 10 billion. Things like that don't just happen, so even though I couldn't audition that day, quite clearly Baby Jesus, or Buddha, or Joe Dimaggio or whoever delivers prophecies from the grand beyond was telling me that I had to audition for the show in some way, shape or form. So I did. I made a three minute movie about pear tarts, and why food is the end all and be all of all good things in this world. Butters made an appearance halfway through because he knows good things are coming when the oven is on. I had to tell them my "POV" or point of view, about food, and why I should have my own show. My POV is mainly that the world would be alot better place if the people who watched Food Network all the time actually cooked like they did, and that a good, healthy meal is only as hard as you make it. Clearly I should have my own show on Food Network because I make great pear tarts.
Crust:
Really you can use any simple pie crust recipe for this tart, or, you can roll out a store bought pie crust super thin.
Filling:
2 tbsp of butter, cut into cubes
1/8 cup of brown sugar
3 oz. of brie, rhind removed
1 slightly under-ripe pear
Glaze:
1 tbsp orange marmalade
1 egg
Roll out pie crust to about 1/8 of an inch, it can be any shape you desire, but if you give it corners, it will probably be crusty (not that there's anything wrong with crusty, just the best part of this tart is how gooey it is). Leaving two inches of crust around the edges, layer filling ingredients in this order: Butter, half the brown sugar, brie, pears, rest of the brown sugar. Fold the remaining crust over the edges of the filling, leaving the center exposed. Whisk together the egg and orange marmalade, brush liberally over the crust. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes, or until crust is golden brown. Let cool slightly, as it gives the butter, cheese, brown sugar and pears time to combine into a delightful goo. Cut into wedges, die of deliciousness. Repeat.
This all started because I've been talking about auditioning for the show for the last 3 years. Finally, I went online to look up audition requirements for the show at the prodding of my dear New Jersey friend Guido, also know as Danielle but she's a guido through and through. I discovered that in all actuality, auditions were going to be held in a conference room behind a hotel in Las Vegas that we were going to be staying at the very next week, on the very same day we were going to be there for my Grandma Dee's 80th birthday. Obviously I love my grandmother more than Food Network so I couldn't miss her party for the auditions, but how weird is that? The odds are like, 1 in 10 billion. Things like that don't just happen, so even though I couldn't audition that day, quite clearly Baby Jesus, or Buddha, or Joe Dimaggio or whoever delivers prophecies from the grand beyond was telling me that I had to audition for the show in some way, shape or form. So I did. I made a three minute movie about pear tarts, and why food is the end all and be all of all good things in this world. Butters made an appearance halfway through because he knows good things are coming when the oven is on. I had to tell them my "POV" or point of view, about food, and why I should have my own show. My POV is mainly that the world would be alot better place if the people who watched Food Network all the time actually cooked like they did, and that a good, healthy meal is only as hard as you make it. Clearly I should have my own show on Food Network because I make great pear tarts.
Crust:
Really you can use any simple pie crust recipe for this tart, or, you can roll out a store bought pie crust super thin.
Filling:
2 tbsp of butter, cut into cubes
1/8 cup of brown sugar
3 oz. of brie, rhind removed
1 slightly under-ripe pear
Glaze:
1 tbsp orange marmalade
1 egg
Roll out pie crust to about 1/8 of an inch, it can be any shape you desire, but if you give it corners, it will probably be crusty (not that there's anything wrong with crusty, just the best part of this tart is how gooey it is). Leaving two inches of crust around the edges, layer filling ingredients in this order: Butter, half the brown sugar, brie, pears, rest of the brown sugar. Fold the remaining crust over the edges of the filling, leaving the center exposed. Whisk together the egg and orange marmalade, brush liberally over the crust. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes, or until crust is golden brown. Let cool slightly, as it gives the butter, cheese, brown sugar and pears time to combine into a delightful goo. Cut into wedges, die of deliciousness. Repeat.
Butter be Getting Ready for Halloween!
Butters is getting very excited for his first Halloween party. He'll be accentuating his natural pumpkin-ness with his brand-spanking new, jackolantern costume from Walmart, and serving delicious treats!
Love on the internet, Kitchenaid Mixers and Other Things that Make Lives Complete.
Howdy Y'all!!!
For those of you who don't know me (if anyone reads this who DOESN'T know me...), my name's Katie Raffety, and I am almost dangerously enamored with food. I recently married my high school sweetheart, Matt, and moved into a small yellow house in the middle of Missoula, Montana. We spend most of our time experimenting in the kitchen and finishing up degrees, mine in music education and his masters in media arts.
As newlywed gourmets with a knack for wedding registries and wonderful family and friends, we've been blessed with a delightfully well-equipped kitchen. Our favorites include a Kitchenaid Mixer in pear green, a healthy collection of oven-safe All-Clad pans, and a Le Creuset roaster that is roughly the same size, color and shape as a 10 pound pumpkin.
This blog is firstly and foremostly about food, but it is also about many other things. I'll talk about alot of very poignant subjects, the first of these being love on the internet. This blog would not exist without finding love on the internet.
I'd been bugging Matt forever about getting a pet. He wasn't a hard sell, so I moved on to convincing our landlord we should get a pet. After a slight hike in rent and some additional deposit, I began trolling the internet for our perfect match. Five minutes into my grueling search, there he was. 23 pounds, orange, and fluffy, Butters the cat filled my laptop screen and my heart with furry, lardy love. Three days later he filled our house with furry, lardy love. It became apparent very quickly that the only person in our house who loved food more than Matt and I was Butters, and thusly, he became the namesake of this blog. Though he is on a kitty-cat diet, and losing quickly, his favorites include chicken liver flavored Temptations cat treats, and salami (in miniscule doses, but I'm a soft touch...).
Now we are all settling in nicely, and our kitchen is the center of our home. It is daily filled with our Hunnie Pie ladies, a ginormous orange cat, delicious smells, and of course, a healthy dose of Butterly Love.
For those of you who don't know me (if anyone reads this who DOESN'T know me...), my name's Katie Raffety, and I am almost dangerously enamored with food. I recently married my high school sweetheart, Matt, and moved into a small yellow house in the middle of Missoula, Montana. We spend most of our time experimenting in the kitchen and finishing up degrees, mine in music education and his masters in media arts.
As newlywed gourmets with a knack for wedding registries and wonderful family and friends, we've been blessed with a delightfully well-equipped kitchen. Our favorites include a Kitchenaid Mixer in pear green, a healthy collection of oven-safe All-Clad pans, and a Le Creuset roaster that is roughly the same size, color and shape as a 10 pound pumpkin.
This blog is firstly and foremostly about food, but it is also about many other things. I'll talk about alot of very poignant subjects, the first of these being love on the internet. This blog would not exist without finding love on the internet.
I'd been bugging Matt forever about getting a pet. He wasn't a hard sell, so I moved on to convincing our landlord we should get a pet. After a slight hike in rent and some additional deposit, I began trolling the internet for our perfect match. Five minutes into my grueling search, there he was. 23 pounds, orange, and fluffy, Butters the cat filled my laptop screen and my heart with furry, lardy love. Three days later he filled our house with furry, lardy love. It became apparent very quickly that the only person in our house who loved food more than Matt and I was Butters, and thusly, he became the namesake of this blog. Though he is on a kitty-cat diet, and losing quickly, his favorites include chicken liver flavored Temptations cat treats, and salami (in miniscule doses, but I'm a soft touch...).
Now we are all settling in nicely, and our kitchen is the center of our home. It is daily filled with our Hunnie Pie ladies, a ginormous orange cat, delicious smells, and of course, a healthy dose of Butterly Love.