El Pollo del Diablo (Or how to use a whole bottle of sriracha...)

Hey there lovely Butterballs!
My, what a lot of time we're spending together lately!  Also, thanks a bunch for reading!  My views have almost doubled in the last month or so! 

Butters, Matt and I have been doing an obscene amount of entertaining lately.  I realized just how many people have been coming and going when I went to fill the dishwasher this evening, and there were 23 cups of different varieties, and 2 plates.  This might also speak to what kind of entertaining we've been doing, but this is a family show. 

As you know, Pecker has been here for the week, and just departed this morning.  Upon her arrival last Saturday, I wanted to make something super special.  Our typical go-to for grilling is bratwurst.  You could blame our time in Austria for this, but really it's because they take little to no effort and you can eat a lot of them before you're full (or maybe that's just me...).  I put chicken legs on Matt's shopping list, but nothing else.  Then I decided I'd make a tasty marinade!  But with what?  SOOOOO MUCH SRIRACHA. 

Earlier this summer, I planted an herb garden in our former BBQ that I've painted purple and yellow.  It's life as a BBQ ended tragically short when some holes rusted through the bottom, and hot coals would fall out the bottom onto the sidewalk.  In between being a BBQ and an herb garden, it sat in the rain for a while and got all rusty.  Apparently this is the perfect storm for growing crap, because my herbs are HUMONGOUS.  Particularly my parsley.  It's almost as big as Butters, and you know that's saying something.  So my next step was to chop a lot of parsley.  My lovely pal Guido went to Albertson's to fetch me some lime juice since we didn't have a speck of citrus in the house.

To make my chicken leg marinade you will need:
Roughly 3/4 cup sriracha (Yep.  You can use more or less depending on how spicy of a product you want.  Our end product was a little more than medium spicy.)
The juice of 3 limes (or about a 1/4 cup of pre-squeezed)
1/2 cup oaky white wine
1/2 cup olive oil
5 shakes tabasco
1 tsp. smoked paprika
1/2 - 1 tsp of chili flakes
1 tbsp chopped garlic
1/3 cup finely chopped fresh parsley (normally I'm all about substitutions, but the fresh parsley is an important step for texture...)
kosher salt and cracked black pepper to taste

Whisk it all up, and reserve half of the mixture to baste your chicken with as you grill it.  It should look like this:

Let your chicken soak in the remaining mixture at least an hour, turning frequently.  Keep the raw meat in the fridge.  Read: SALMONELLA.  Make sure it stays cold until cooking!  Once you've started to cook your meat, don't cross contaminate your different containers of marinade.  Do not use the bowl that had the chicken in it to baste your cooking chicken.  I like to use a charcoal grill.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with gas, I just like the smokey taste that the charcoal gives whatever you're cooking.  Baste your legs as you turn them, making sure to get some of the parsley on all sides (this gives them an herby crunch once the herbs dry from cooking).  Cook until juices run clear, the meat should stay fairly juicy since you'll be basting it continually.  They should look like this! 

If you have some marinade left that hasn't been exposed to raw meat, you can serve it on the side for a saucier experience!  You could use any cut of poultry or pork with this marinade.  Enjoy, apparently it makes you have big cheesy grins!

Happy cooking, Butterballs!  Don't forget to like, share and follow, and most importantly, cook! 

Watermelon Balsamic Popsicles (plus how to make your kitchen super sticky...)

Howdy all, Butterballs!
Happy belated 4th of July!  I hope you blew a lot of stuff up and ate an unreasonable amount of grilled food!  I certainly consumed more than my fair share of polish sausage.  We aren't allowed to blow anything up in Missoula this year (though several of my neighbors did anyway...), so we settled for grilling a lot of different meats.

As many of you might know, my very best Pecker is in town for the week.  She hails from Seattle currently, and apparently it's pretty nice there his time of year.  She got here just in time for he temperature to rise 20 degrees, so it's been hanging out in the mid to high nineties the majority of the week.  We decided on Wednesday that we were way more into making something cold than something hot for dinner, so we blended up these balsamic and watermelon Popsicles/granita.  We also had salad, because that also does not require the gas range being lit.

Now, keep in mind that the heat had whipped us into anincredible delirium at this point, so this quickly turned from routine blending and chopping into us putting on voices and pretending to be the judges on Chopped.  Megan was Ted Allen, who in turn narrated all of their witty banter.

Ted Allen:  For all our viewers at home it looks like the challenger's basket is literally filled with watermelon and nothing else.

Alex Guarneschelli:  Well Ted, it's a good thing she has a lime in her pocket.  Also, any good chef knows it's beyond important to carry around your own balsamic vinegar.

Arron Sanchez:  I'm hoping she puts a little Latin flair in there somewhere, I hear Cacique Queso Fresco adds the perfect touch to watermelon.

Alex:  Shut up Arron.

Ted:  It looks like she's starting to break down that enormous watermelon.

Alex:  Those chunks are going to be far too big to eat.

Amanda Freitag:  I'm just wondering if she's thought to add an acidic element of some kind.

Alex:  Shut up Amanda, that it WAY too big to eat.

Geoffrey Zakarian:  When I cut up watermelon I use a Peruvian fish boning knife.  It's much more efficient than traditional fruit cutting methods.

Ted:  It looks like she's getting out the blender.

Alex:  That watermelon will NEVER fit in that blender.

Ted:  Now she's headed for the produce pantry!

Scott Connant:  If she comes back with a raw red onion I'm going to kill myself.

Ted:  Some herbs I think, is it mint?

Amanda:  Sugary fruit really needs an herbascious element to balance the sweetness.

Alex:  Shut up Amanda.  Her sue chef, Pecker is chopping that mint WAY TOO BIG!

Scott:  As long as it's not a red onion I don't care.

Alex:  Shut up Scott.

Scott:  Shut up Alex.

Ted:  Back on the floor our challenger seems to have abandoned the blender for the food processor.

Alex:  Told you it was too big.

Ted:  She's adding balsamic vinegar and red wine to her mint and watermelon mixture.

Amanda:  I'm still waiting for some acid.

Ted:  Aren't we all, Amanda.  Oh, she's blending in some lime.

Amanda:  Thank God.

Arron:  If she really wanted to pep it up she should consider some Cacique Queso Fresco.

Alex:  Shut UP Arron!  If you have to sell your ugly face to some cut rate Tex Mex cheese that advertises on daytime television you'll never make it as a real chef.

Ted:  Looks like she's headed to the blast chiller with that mixture!

Alex:  She licked some juice off of her finger.  I'm not eating that.

To make mine and Meggy's watermelon Popsicles/granita you will need:
Half of a giant, seedless watermelon, roughly chopped
A half cup of fresh mint leaves, roughly chopped
A half cup of balsamic vinegar
A half cup of red wine
Juice of two limes

Blend all of it up, and freeze in any form you like.  We chose Popsicles and a big Tupperware container.

Stay cool Butterballs, and as always, love and best fishes!

Saucy Salmon Burgers (and other good things to do with frozen fish)!

Hola, my sweet Butterballs!
Long time no food :(  Just so you know you weren't neglected intentionally, here's a brief summary of mine and Matt's last two months:

-Bought a house! (Yay!)
-Moved into the new house! (Yay!)
-Had a spring concert! (Yay!)
-New pipes exploded because they were too full of tree roots. (Boo...)
-Matt got his big kid job! (Yay!)
-Matt graduated with his Masters degree in Media Arts! (Yay!)
-Former neighbor at the rental went postal and weed whacked all of Matt's rosebushes, in addition to verbally threatening us and our landlady resulting in police reports... (Boo...)

 

All of this took place within two weeks.  In addition, we made the executive (and ultimately incredibly stupid...) decision to switch Butters to the fancy protein food that was supposed to make him a kitty cat super model.  The subsequent result was really just alot of cat poo and bleach.  Also, Butters gained three pounds.  So naturally we put him back on the fat cat food, and all of us are much happier.

You can certainly imagine that not a lot of cooking happened during this period of time.  I made roughly 7 lbs of guacamole for Matt's graduation party, but that's really about it.  I went to a conference last week for five days, and Matt officially used our new stove for the first time.  It's been rough I tell ya.  We went grocery shopping for the first time in three months the other day.  You know it's bad when you have to buy things that are usually just in the cabinet (read: salt and flour).  $500 later (shudder), our kitchen has food in it, and we even have vegetables!  Another semi-entertaining obstacle was learning how to use our first gas stove...  I may or may not have lit a pasta scoop on fire.

I am super fortunate to be able to just hang out in the summertime.  Obviously I could go back to the Huck or something of the like during the summer, but to be quite frank, this is the only chance I get to get anything accomplished during the year (i.e. keeping up with you fine people, laundry, drinking wine, you know, real basic life necessities...).  I've cooked more in the last two weeks than I have in the last two months, which makes everyone happier.  The result of this is lots and lots of new recipes!   

You may notice that I am using frozen salmon fillets.  You may feel welcome as always to use fresh salmon.  As a quick weeknight dinner, I usually like to have a bag of frozen salmon in the freezer (for pasta, burgers, salads, etc.).  They contain no additional ingredients, and they are quite a bit cheaper (especially if you need to keep it in the freezer to cook at your leisure).  Also, this recipe makes about six burgers, so if you're on a budget, it's important to consider volume, and these burgers only cost about $2.00 per serving (including sauce, garnish and buns), which is pretty impressive considering they're made out of something other than beef.

To make my saucy salmon burgers you will need:

For the Burgers:

about 1 1/2 lbs of salmon (I use frozen)

3/4 cup bread crumbs (if your mixture doesn't seem to be sticking together, you can certainly add more!)

1/2 red onion, finely minced

1/4 cup red pepper, finely minced

2 tbsp olive oil mayonaise

2 eggs

1 tsp dill

1 tbsp parsley

1 tsp or more if you like sriracha 

salt and pepper to taste

Thaw salmon (de-bone and remove skin if it hasn't been already), and pull apart until the meat appears minced.  Add in the rest of your ingredients and mix with hands until well combined.  Form into six equal patties (but don't mush them flat, they should be about an inch thick prior to cooking).  Heat about 3 tbsp of olive oil in a pan on medium to medium high (a grill pan works well too!), cook on each side until browned, flipping once.  If you want them more well-done (read: drier), you can finish them in the oven at 350 degrees for about five minutes. Otherwise, just heat your oven to warm to keep them ready to eat as you finish cooking all of the patties.  

While your patties are in the oven on warm, you can make this tasty tzatziki sauce to put on top.  Truthfully, on any given week night I might cheat and use Costco's organic tzatziki sauce, but if I have the time, this is the recipe I like to use.

You will need:

1 1/2 cup sour cream or unsweetened Greek yogurt

3 tbsp grated cucumber

2 tsp chopped garlic (finely)

1 tbsp chopped dill (fresh is best!)

2 tsp lemon juice

salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a bowl, don't over stir.  If you want a thicker spread as opposed to a sauce, use 3/4 cream cheese and 3/4 sour cream or yogurt instead of 1 1/2 cup sour cream or yogurt.

To assemble:

Matt and I like thinly sliced tomato and cucumber for garnish and toasted hoagie rolls (cut into two, smaller burger sized buns).  I like to toast the buns in the same pans I used for the burgers with a little extra olive oil.  For an extra "zip", you can rub the toasted part of the bun with a clove of garlic.  Spread your tzatziki on both sides of your bun, add burger and chosen garnishes.  Most of the time we serve these with chips and salsa, or guacamole (which is also a tasty substitute for the tzatziki sauce!).

Cheers, my dear sweet Butterballs, to a productive and tasty summer!  As, always, love and best fishes!  May your bellies, be full, your faces be pleasantly sunburned, your glasses be full, and your homes be blessed.  Happy cooking!

Happy "Mew" Year Lo Mein!

Howdy Y'all, Butterballs!
Happy New Year!  I hope you and yours had a fulfilling, and filling, experience over your holiday season!  Matt, myself and the cat spent our time, sleeping, entertaining, and of course, eating.  We were lucky enough to spend a week in Dillon with both of our respective families over the break, followed by two days of Megan Peck time, and a dubstep dance party on New Years Eve.  We were both back to work on Wednesday, and soon discovered that our time off was socially exciting, though not exactly the most restful nine days of our lives.

Now, I am not one for New Year Resolutions.  As close as I got this year was resolving to get all my laundry done by the time school started on Wednesday.  I did, in fact, get that done, so I am a big fat success, be jealous.  Butter's resolution was to be more comfortable with his body image, and since he really couldn't care less anyway, our family is two for two.

During our time of entertaining, we fully took advantage of our house's proximity to McDonald's, Arby's, and Taco Bell, so we were... resolute, perhaps, to cook this week.  As soon as we made this decision, my car crapped out, and we had to spend two evenings trying to get it towed to the car guy.  On Wednesday, we thought that if we couldn't eat at home, we'd at least try to eat healthy, so we decided to try a local fresh sandwich shop.  This ended up being about the worst culinary decision we've ever made.  Between mine being soaked with (unrequested) vinegar, and Matt's club sandwich being slathered in hot Chinese mustard, we had to go eat a cheeseburger to get the taste out of our mouths.  Friday, we took advantage of roughly $75 in free Outback steakhouse money we got for Christmas, and Thursday, I made this healthy lo mein.

Now, in addition to our usual secret cheap grocery spots (read: Walmart), we've also been frequenting Costco, also known as Senior Citizen Heaven and "I just have one thing to get because bulk shopping makes almost no sense for two people" Hell.  "What could you possibly need at Costco for a family of two that won't be so stale you could use it as paving tile by the time you use it up?", you might ask.  My answer would be: roughly ten thousand pounds of whole wheat spaghetti.  Now, we didn't end up with this much pasta intentionally.  Due to some health factors that were brought to my attention last fall, we've been cutting back on our refined carbs, and our dairy products, so naturally we were super excited when we saw that all this fancy pasta (if I have to give up dairy, there is absolutely no way in the world I am giving up pasta) for like, $1 a pound.  So naturally Matt bought ten pounds, then one month later, with the best of intentions, bought ten more.  Pretty much the only thing we have yet to do with spaghetti is make those little smokey octopus things on Pinterest...

To make Butters' Mew Year Resolution Lo Mein you will need:
3/4 lb whole wheat spaghetti
2 large chicken breasts, thinly sliced on the bias
1/4 cup (or more to taste) low sodium soy sauce
enough olive oil to cook your veg, chicken, and finish your dish
1 and 1/2 large carrots, thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced into strips
1 head of broccoli with the heads cut into bite sized pieces
4 bias cut green onions for garnish
salt and pepper to taste for chicken

Heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in a large frying pan or wok on medium heat, add in carrots, yellow onion and broccoli, cook until the onions are translucent and the other veggies are tender.  Remove vegetables to a bowl, add a little more oil, and add in chicken.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Cook until slightly browned. While your chicken is cooking, boil your pasta until al dente.  Add vegetables and (drained) pasta into pan with chicken.  Drizzle with soy sauce and olive oil, and toss.  Garnish with green onions.  Serve with eggrolls or potstickers.

Enjoy, my sweet Butterballs!  This New Year I am grateful for friends, family, and of course, all of your pretty faces!  Best Fishes for a prosperous and well fed New Year!