Pork Tenderloin with Herbed Mustard Potatoes or Idle Hands are the Devil's Something or Other....

Butterballs!
It is I (or we!) the triumphant!  Returning to you from an abnormally long hiatus.  Turns out this adulting thing can kind of take over your life and make you forget things like your hopes and dreams.

It has come to my attention that there is a lady (I assume a lady???) who has (I shit you not) adopted a cat, named it Butters (maybe, at least that's this facsimile's stage name), and purchased the domain name for Cooking with Butters.  It's not me.  I haven't the slightest how someone who apparently has so much web-based knowledge (her page is admittedly nice looking, though unattended for the last year or so...) could not be creative enough to come up with her own concept, but, alas- there are now two "Cooking with Butters" out in the universe.  To be fair, I myself have not been as attentive to this page as I could have been over the last two years or so, so I suppose I should be flattered that my concept was apparently so appealing as to be stolen by someone else.

I'm working hard to get back into things that have given me a lot of joy over the years, and learning to balance my work life (which in itself obviously gives me lots and lots of joy!) with my personal life and my numerous hobbies that have frankly become more and more neglected as I come home more and more exhausted.  I'm starting with my blog, and my endeavors into food in general!

As I take this time to re-explore my own interests, it has become abundantly clear that I am passionate about meat (*crickets chirp*).  Between my salmon smoking (stay tuned as we build a new smoker this summer- I've officially run two charcoal grills right smack into the ground.  On a related note, if anyone has access to a two drawer file cabinet in need of a home, hit me up!), and my somewhat time-consuming and abrasive habit of re-butchering anything that I purchase at the grocery store, I'm just truly interested in carnage in general.

Thankfully, grilling season is finally upon us!  We've had an unforgivably long and disgusting winter during which it was so horribly cold and wet, we hardly left the house at all, and the BBQ, at a whopping 50 feet from the back door, could've just as easily been in Siberia, so it's been a minute since we've really just toasted the crap out of anything.  The last week it's finally warmed up enough to venture one furry (yep) leg out from the comfort of my love seat, so I took the opportunity on Tuesday to make this delightful pork tenderloin.

Speaking of re-butchering, these $4 pork tenderloins from Walmart (yes, you get what you pay for) are often somewhat of a crapshoot.  This one was absolutely perfect!  Just the right amount of fat cap, two pounds of perfect tenderloin.  You'll need:

2 lb. pork tenderloin
Italian seasoning
Smoked paprika
Salt and cracked black pepper
Olive oil

For the herbed potatoes:
2 cans of whole new potatoes
2 tablespoons of Italian seasoning
Olive oil
Salt and cracked black pepper
1 and 1/2 tablespoons whole grain mustard
Grillin' skillet (or similar thingy)

Start by coating the tenderloin in the olive oil, then liberally rub with the Italian seasoning, salt, pepper and paprika (light on the paprika).  Heat your grill to 450 degrees, clean grates and rub with olive oil.  Sear each side of the tenderloin, then turn heat down to 325, and take off of direct heat, leave for 25 minutes, turning halfway through, or until meat has reached an internal temp of 145 degrees.

For the potatoes:  Drain liquid from cans, put potatoes in bowl, coat liberally with seasoning and olive oil (reserve mustard for later).  Toss until they are coated evenly.  Place in grill pan over high heat, stir occasionally until they develop a brown crust on both sides.  Remove from heat, place potatoes in bowl, add mustard to bowl, and toss until the potatoes are coated.

I don't have a finished product photo- we gobbled it up way too fast, but here is a prep pic, complete with a glass of rose, my grilling beverage of choice as of late.

In closing, it's good to be back, my lovelies!  Stay tuned for all sorts of delightful culinary hijinx as the cat takes back the internet!

XOXO

Grilled Balsamic Pork Roast! Or, under-done meat, demon neighbor children, and other things you don't want at your BBQ...

Good afternoon, dear, sweet, Butterballs!
How delightful it is to be able to have the time to write to you on more than just a every so often basis!  Thanks a bunch for reading and all the shares!  It's so awesome to know that the fat cat is reaching more than just my personal audience!

As I pen today's blog, I am being serenaded by the dulcet screams of neighbor children.  Now, one might assume that I should be concerned for the safety of said screaming neighbor children.  No.  They're fine.  They just spend all their time screaming.  All day strong, all day long.  Poor Dexter has been spending 99.9% of his time barking wildly at them from the safety of his doggy bed in front of the window since school got out in June.  They don't limit their time to wailing at the top of their lungs in my front yard.  Oh no.  They divide the rest of their time equally between standing smack in the middle of the street playing handheld video games, racing you on their bikes when you drive into the cul de sac, and picking all of our flowers and leaving them in piles on the sidewalk.  Most recently, i.e. five minutes ago, our littlest cherub walked up to the window by our front door, and started pounding on the glass in Dexter's face, as he froths at the mouth, hoping for a sweet chunk of baby meat.  Who needs birth control, amiright?  It's because of these angelic little darlings that Matt and I have mostly retired the wine porch in front of the house, in favor of the much more private, nice and quiet back porch.  There's only so many times you can be asked, "What are you eating?  Can I have some?", by a complete stranger while trying to enjoy your hastily made porch dinner until you eventually snap.  So, Matt and I decided to build a patio in the backyard, since A. We hate watering our crappy grass, and B. Our front patio was no longer safe from the sticky little fingers of death.

It started out easy enough.  Just digging a 60 square foot hole in the grass behind our garage.

Then came the trip to Lowe's.  Then the trip to Home Depot.  Then another trip to Lowe's.  Then it was 11 o'clock and I wanted that SOB finished, so I slapped all the pavers on top of the sand and called it a deck.

We had a couple days of rain, and we weren't able to use it yet.  It wasn't until Matt was outside a couple days later, and our neighbor handed us an enormous set of dirt levelers (completely well-intentioned of course...) that we realized there was an issue.  We went out in the backyard, and everything had totally shifted and fallen apart.  Then came another trip to Lowe's.  2nd time's the charm with patio building apparently, because after some serious Googling, we eventually figured out what it was supposed to look like.  Hooray!  Now we just needed some stuff to put on it to cover the remaining physical imperfections.

If you were my first graders I might ask, "What are some things you could do outside, on a patio?"  You might answer, "Read a book!", "Play with my dog!", "Spiderman!".  All of which would be excellent answers.  Except Spiderman.  The answer I'm clearly looking for is, "Drink beer and BBQ, Mrs. Raffety!"  Yes, little Billy, you know me so well!  My parents and I went in on a grill for Matt for his birthday last Sunday, and to date, I've spent more time playing with it than he has, but no one is really surprised by that are they?  So, crack open your favorite summer ale, and join me on your half-assed patio, kids, because it's time for balsamic pork roast!

Pork roast?  How will that get done on a gas grill?  Hey, you know, it doesn't.  Not unless you give it enough time at the right temperature.  So, I'm editing this a smidge so you don't have to cut yours in half to get it finished because you are hangry, and you've already eaten all of your asparagus just hot off the grill.  Not that that happened to me or anything.  I'm a professional.  *serious cook face*.

Pork roast is a great blank canvas for whatever flavor du jour you're gunning for.  It can be a lot of fun to mess around with different flavor combos.  I can't take credit for this little factoid because I know I read it somewhere else...  But!  A good formula to stick with is acid + oil + seasoning.  So in this particular instance we went with, balsamic vinegar and chardonnay + olive oil + dijon mustard, parsley, salt, pepper and chilli flake.  Buh-bam!  Marinade.  Easy-Peasy.  Apologies in advance that there are no food photos of this particular endeavor.  Just picture a cantaloupe sized piece of meat smothered in delicious.  See?  Not so hard :)

You'll need:
a 3-4 lb. pork roast (or, turkey breast, but I tend to shy away from super strong flavor combos with turkey since it's so flavorful on it's own...)
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar (cheap!  You're mixing it with what I can only assume will be equally cheap white wine after all.)
1/2 cup white wine, I used chardonnay
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tbsp. parsley
2 tbsp. dijon mustard
salt and pepper to taste
a little chili flake, 'cuz that's how we do...

Whisk all of that together (except the pork roast... which goes without saying), reserve about a third of it for glazing as you grill.  Marinate the pork roast for about an hour, flipping a couple of times.  Heat your grill to high, sear the roast on all sides.  Turn your center burners down to medium, with the roast over those, and close the grill lid.  Turn every fifteen minutes or so (adding a coat of marinade) for about an hour, or until your pork reaches an internal temperature of 160 degrees.  Cut into slices.  We ate it with grilled asparagus and potato salad.

Some other marinade combos you might enjoy:

• White wine + olive oil + sriracha, parsley, cumin, salt and pepper
• Lime juice + olive oil + sriracha, chili flake, garlic salt, pepper, cilantro
• Balsamic vinegar + olive oil + basil, salt and pepper
• White wine and lemon juice (be careful, it's a slippery slope) + olive oil + rosemary, salt and pepper

 Voila!  Stay tuned for more grill-tastic recipes!  Hope your summer is all the fun you've been hoping for.  Have a cold one for me!  As always, Butterballs, thanks for reading, lots of love and best fishes from me, Matt, Dexter, and the fat cat! 

Mama Katie's Smokin' Salmon!

Butterballs, Butterballs!  Where have you been all my life?  Apologies for my prolonged absence, but never fear! I come bearing piles of delightful recipes.  Dexter, Butters, Matt and I have been spending our days working, building patios (more on that later...), and cooking up a lot of tasty treats.  One of which, my smoked salmon, has become a family favorite, and has been affectionately named 'Mama Katie's Smokin' Salmon' by my ever-adorable husband.

Deep in the heart of darkness that was spring this year, the fur babies and I were itching for an opportunity to get outside.  We strapped on our yoga pants, hitched up our Ugg boots, and decided to try our hand at smoking fish.  "Smoking fish?", you might ask, "but why?"  Yes, you can most certainly purchase a nicely pre-smoked salmon at the grocery store, but having done a little research, a four ounce piece of smoked salmon averages $8 (or $32 a pound...), at least in the greater Missoula area.  If that doesn't convince you, just consider that this is an activity where you literally NEED to sit on your ass, drink a beer, and read a book for a minimum of 2 hours to do it successfully.  So, let's do some math: 

Butters has decided to make some home-smoked salmon.  He goes to the cat grocery store and spends $25 on a whole side of raw salmon, that will yield 8, 4 ounce pieces of smoked salmon (roughly $12.50 per lb.). Last week, Butters had a party for all of his cat friends.  Dexter served them store bought salmon at $32 per lb.  How much cat nip beer can Butters buy with the money he's saving to drink while he smokes his fish?  Do you have your answer?  A LOT of cat nip beers, that's how many.  Essentially, while this process is somewhat time consuming, it will give you the gift of  cost effective, cured meat, with the added bonus of productive leisure time.  Win, win I say.

Now, to make some fancy, hard-smoked salmon, you will need some non-edible supplies:

• Grill- I like my charcoal one for this process.  If you decide to use a gas grill, you won't need the next two items.
• Charcoal (about 5 lbs)
• Lighter Fluid
• Wood chips for smoking (I like hickory) Note:  If you use a gas grill, you will need a smoker box for your chips.
• Large bowl
• Strainer
• Cookie sheet with sides

Before you get started:
You'll want to hang out with your fish to make sure that your charcoal fire stays stoked and covered in chips.  Cooking anything in a smoker has a distinct odor, so maybe don't wear your favorite dry clean only ballgown for this process.

First, you'll need to soak your wood chips.  The longer you smoke them, the less chips you'll need because they will last longer.  Fill your strainer with chips, place it in the bowl.  Fill the bowl with water.  Leave to soak for a minimum of 1 hour.

After you get you chips soaking, you'll need to prep your salmon.  One of the major pros of smoking your own salmon is that you can choose your own seasonings.  I like onion and garlic powder with cracked pepper, but I also have a Trader Joe's lemon pepper grinder I'm itching to try out.  Some people like to play with glazes (think balsamic vinegar and marmalade...), the possibilities are truly endless.  You will need to clear a flat space in your fridge to let your salmon rest.  It will lose lots of liquid, so choose a cookie sheet with sides so your fridge doesn't smell like fish for the foreseeable future. 

Edible Ingredients:
As much salmon as you'd like to smoke- I used 2 lbs. cut into 8ish pieces, leaving the skin on
1 cup kosher salt
1 cup brown sugar
1 1/2 tbsp. each cracked black pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder

Mix dry ingredients together, move a little seasoning into a different bowl as you use it, so you don't contaminate your extra seasoning with fish yuck.  Cover all pink sides of the salmon with a thick layer of seasoning.  Place each piece on a cookie sheet, covered in parchment paper.  Place in the fridge for a minimum of one hour (the longer you let the salmon set, the dryer the finish on it will be).

While you are waiting for your salmon to get dry and your chips to get wet, light your charcoal grill.  Keep the coals in a pile in the front of the grill, where they can get lots of air.  Cover in lighter fluid, and let burn until the edges have started to turn gray. 

Take your salmon out of the fridge.  There should be lots of liquid in the bottom of the cookie sheet.  Wipe each piece off with wet paper towel.  You can leave as much seasoning on the fish as you'd like, but if you leave it all it will be too salty. 

Cover your coals with about 2 handfuls of your wood chips (strain first).  Place your fish on a part of the grill with NO COALS under it, leaving a little space between each piece.  Put the lid down on the grill, and open the vents halfway.  The longer you smoke it the dryer it will be.  2 hours, adding new chips whenever the old ones have completely turned black will make a flaky, moist fish.  Your fish should be a deep red color when you take it off the grill.  Keep it on foil until it cools. 

Serving Suggestions!

Now that you have all of this delicious fish, how do you eat it?  Here are a few of my favorites!

• With a soft cheese (plain goat cheese, or Boursin) on crackers, or a crusty baguette.
• In a sandwich!  Goat cheese, bean sprouts, cucumbers, and red onion on ciabatta.
• On a salad!  Baby greens with sesame sticks, mandarin orange slices, cucumber and a balsamic vinaigrette.
• By itself!  Great with olives, cheeses, and other cured meats like sopressata.
• On a Bagel!  Cream cheese, red onion, and capers, oh my!
• On toasts!  Goat cheese, dijon mustard and capers!  
• In your pasta!  I like it with pesto (see Pork and Pesto for Your Mama! Entry for a pesto recipe!!)
• With quinoa!  Boil the quinoa with garlic and shallots in chicken stock.
• Show it off at parties!  Friends love friends who smoke their own fish!  There's a certain Ron Swanson-esque, je ne sais quoi about a buddy who makes artisanal meats.  
• Smoked salmon dip!  1 lb cream cheese, a little milk, some worcestshire sauce, dill and dijon mustard blended with 4 ounces of your salmon.

Voila!  You can keep your fish in the fridge for a couple of weeks, or the freezer for up to a year.  See?  Wasn't that worth the wait?  Now, put on your bikini, crack open a cold one, and head out to the yard for some quality fish smoking time!

Love and best fishes,
Katie

Saucy Salmon Burgers (and other good things to do with frozen fish)!

Hola, my sweet Butterballs!
Long time no food :(  Just so you know you weren't neglected intentionally, here's a brief summary of mine and Matt's last two months:

-Bought a house! (Yay!)
-Moved into the new house! (Yay!)
-Had a spring concert! (Yay!)
-New pipes exploded because they were too full of tree roots. (Boo...)
-Matt got his big kid job! (Yay!)
-Matt graduated with his Masters degree in Media Arts! (Yay!)
-Former neighbor at the rental went postal and weed whacked all of Matt's rosebushes, in addition to verbally threatening us and our landlady resulting in police reports... (Boo...)

 

All of this took place within two weeks.  In addition, we made the executive (and ultimately incredibly stupid...) decision to switch Butters to the fancy protein food that was supposed to make him a kitty cat super model.  The subsequent result was really just alot of cat poo and bleach.  Also, Butters gained three pounds.  So naturally we put him back on the fat cat food, and all of us are much happier.

You can certainly imagine that not a lot of cooking happened during this period of time.  I made roughly 7 lbs of guacamole for Matt's graduation party, but that's really about it.  I went to a conference last week for five days, and Matt officially used our new stove for the first time.  It's been rough I tell ya.  We went grocery shopping for the first time in three months the other day.  You know it's bad when you have to buy things that are usually just in the cabinet (read: salt and flour).  $500 later (shudder), our kitchen has food in it, and we even have vegetables!  Another semi-entertaining obstacle was learning how to use our first gas stove...  I may or may not have lit a pasta scoop on fire.

I am super fortunate to be able to just hang out in the summertime.  Obviously I could go back to the Huck or something of the like during the summer, but to be quite frank, this is the only chance I get to get anything accomplished during the year (i.e. keeping up with you fine people, laundry, drinking wine, you know, real basic life necessities...).  I've cooked more in the last two weeks than I have in the last two months, which makes everyone happier.  The result of this is lots and lots of new recipes!   

You may notice that I am using frozen salmon fillets.  You may feel welcome as always to use fresh salmon.  As a quick weeknight dinner, I usually like to have a bag of frozen salmon in the freezer (for pasta, burgers, salads, etc.).  They contain no additional ingredients, and they are quite a bit cheaper (especially if you need to keep it in the freezer to cook at your leisure).  Also, this recipe makes about six burgers, so if you're on a budget, it's important to consider volume, and these burgers only cost about $2.00 per serving (including sauce, garnish and buns), which is pretty impressive considering they're made out of something other than beef.

To make my saucy salmon burgers you will need:

For the Burgers:

about 1 1/2 lbs of salmon (I use frozen)

3/4 cup bread crumbs (if your mixture doesn't seem to be sticking together, you can certainly add more!)

1/2 red onion, finely minced

1/4 cup red pepper, finely minced

2 tbsp olive oil mayonaise

2 eggs

1 tsp dill

1 tbsp parsley

1 tsp or more if you like sriracha 

salt and pepper to taste

Thaw salmon (de-bone and remove skin if it hasn't been already), and pull apart until the meat appears minced.  Add in the rest of your ingredients and mix with hands until well combined.  Form into six equal patties (but don't mush them flat, they should be about an inch thick prior to cooking).  Heat about 3 tbsp of olive oil in a pan on medium to medium high (a grill pan works well too!), cook on each side until browned, flipping once.  If you want them more well-done (read: drier), you can finish them in the oven at 350 degrees for about five minutes. Otherwise, just heat your oven to warm to keep them ready to eat as you finish cooking all of the patties.  

While your patties are in the oven on warm, you can make this tasty tzatziki sauce to put on top.  Truthfully, on any given week night I might cheat and use Costco's organic tzatziki sauce, but if I have the time, this is the recipe I like to use.

You will need:

1 1/2 cup sour cream or unsweetened Greek yogurt

3 tbsp grated cucumber

2 tsp chopped garlic (finely)

1 tbsp chopped dill (fresh is best!)

2 tsp lemon juice

salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a bowl, don't over stir.  If you want a thicker spread as opposed to a sauce, use 3/4 cream cheese and 3/4 sour cream or yogurt instead of 1 1/2 cup sour cream or yogurt.

To assemble:

Matt and I like thinly sliced tomato and cucumber for garnish and toasted hoagie rolls (cut into two, smaller burger sized buns).  I like to toast the buns in the same pans I used for the burgers with a little extra olive oil.  For an extra "zip", you can rub the toasted part of the bun with a clove of garlic.  Spread your tzatziki on both sides of your bun, add burger and chosen garnishes.  Most of the time we serve these with chips and salsa, or guacamole (which is also a tasty substitute for the tzatziki sauce!).

Cheers, my dear sweet Butterballs, to a productive and tasty summer!  As, always, love and best fishes!  May your bellies, be full, your faces be pleasantly sunburned, your glasses be full, and your homes be blessed.  Happy cooking!

Happy "Mew" Year Lo Mein!

Howdy Y'all, Butterballs!
Happy New Year!  I hope you and yours had a fulfilling, and filling, experience over your holiday season!  Matt, myself and the cat spent our time, sleeping, entertaining, and of course, eating.  We were lucky enough to spend a week in Dillon with both of our respective families over the break, followed by two days of Megan Peck time, and a dubstep dance party on New Years Eve.  We were both back to work on Wednesday, and soon discovered that our time off was socially exciting, though not exactly the most restful nine days of our lives.

Now, I am not one for New Year Resolutions.  As close as I got this year was resolving to get all my laundry done by the time school started on Wednesday.  I did, in fact, get that done, so I am a big fat success, be jealous.  Butter's resolution was to be more comfortable with his body image, and since he really couldn't care less anyway, our family is two for two.

During our time of entertaining, we fully took advantage of our house's proximity to McDonald's, Arby's, and Taco Bell, so we were... resolute, perhaps, to cook this week.  As soon as we made this decision, my car crapped out, and we had to spend two evenings trying to get it towed to the car guy.  On Wednesday, we thought that if we couldn't eat at home, we'd at least try to eat healthy, so we decided to try a local fresh sandwich shop.  This ended up being about the worst culinary decision we've ever made.  Between mine being soaked with (unrequested) vinegar, and Matt's club sandwich being slathered in hot Chinese mustard, we had to go eat a cheeseburger to get the taste out of our mouths.  Friday, we took advantage of roughly $75 in free Outback steakhouse money we got for Christmas, and Thursday, I made this healthy lo mein.

Now, in addition to our usual secret cheap grocery spots (read: Walmart), we've also been frequenting Costco, also known as Senior Citizen Heaven and "I just have one thing to get because bulk shopping makes almost no sense for two people" Hell.  "What could you possibly need at Costco for a family of two that won't be so stale you could use it as paving tile by the time you use it up?", you might ask.  My answer would be: roughly ten thousand pounds of whole wheat spaghetti.  Now, we didn't end up with this much pasta intentionally.  Due to some health factors that were brought to my attention last fall, we've been cutting back on our refined carbs, and our dairy products, so naturally we were super excited when we saw that all this fancy pasta (if I have to give up dairy, there is absolutely no way in the world I am giving up pasta) for like, $1 a pound.  So naturally Matt bought ten pounds, then one month later, with the best of intentions, bought ten more.  Pretty much the only thing we have yet to do with spaghetti is make those little smokey octopus things on Pinterest...

To make Butters' Mew Year Resolution Lo Mein you will need:
3/4 lb whole wheat spaghetti
2 large chicken breasts, thinly sliced on the bias
1/4 cup (or more to taste) low sodium soy sauce
enough olive oil to cook your veg, chicken, and finish your dish
1 and 1/2 large carrots, thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler
1 small yellow onion, thinly sliced into strips
1 head of broccoli with the heads cut into bite sized pieces
4 bias cut green onions for garnish
salt and pepper to taste for chicken

Heat a couple of tablespoons of olive oil in a large frying pan or wok on medium heat, add in carrots, yellow onion and broccoli, cook until the onions are translucent and the other veggies are tender.  Remove vegetables to a bowl, add a little more oil, and add in chicken.  Salt and pepper to taste.  Cook until slightly browned. While your chicken is cooking, boil your pasta until al dente.  Add vegetables and (drained) pasta into pan with chicken.  Drizzle with soy sauce and olive oil, and toss.  Garnish with green onions.  Serve with eggrolls or potstickers.

Enjoy, my sweet Butterballs!  This New Year I am grateful for friends, family, and of course, all of your pretty faces!  Best Fishes for a prosperous and well fed New Year!

Tis the Season for Peachy "Quin" Jambalaya!!!!!

Howdy Butterballs!
Long time no eat!  Turns out that teaching keeps you a little bit busy, but don't feel singled out!  Not only have I not cooked for you in months, I haven't cooked for the husband or myself either.  When you spend all your time at work or passed out in exhaustion on the couch, you cook things like spaghetti sauce, tacos, spaghetti sauce, or McDonald's.  The beauty of all of these things is that they all pair beautifully with cheap red wine.  This laziness also has a tendency to bleed over into weekend days.  I find that if I can't put it in the Crockpot with wine, garlic and an onion and expect reasonably tasty results, I will make Papa John's (which would not be so bad, except I would rather pay the $3 delivery fee than walk the block and a half from my house to their storefront to pick it up). 

With the holiday season upon us, music teachers find themselves faced with an additional seasonal task of preparing and executing the annual holiday program.  As this is the very first program I will be preparing entirely on my own, I find myself flying into a logistical obstacle course.  I am so lucky to have the amazing students that I do.  They are enthusiastic, adorable and eager to show off their seasoned woodblock skills, and I am already exhausted and we are still 10 days out.  The lack of cooking going on in my house has also resulted in a complete lack of left-overs for lunching purposes.  Luckily my room has a closet that I keep filled to the brim with goldfish crackers, fruit and bags of popcorn, or I would probably be SOL, and no, not a needle pulling thread (Ha!  10 points for a superfluous Sound of Music joke... anyone?).  I recently came to the conclusion that this will probably not improve anytime soon, so I made the addition of dried fruit, little baby hummus cups from Costco and these super fancy quinoa chips!  Hopefully this will prevent me from developing rickets. 

In the spirit of this busy holiday season, I bring you good tidings of all things spicy.  As we go deeper into the wrapping paper, plastic tree and cookie abyss, I find that one more hearty stew or pot roast will likely push me over the edge.  I love a good bourguignon as much as the next American, but I also find more and more everyday that cooking with wine is nice, but makes me wish there was more wine left for me when I am finished (greedy, greedy beef shank...).  This fact coupled with the feeling of deep and utter dread I felt upon coming home faced with the prospect of yet another dinner made out of some nondescript animal's "burger" sparked within me a rebellious revolution.  So naturally, I turned to burger's sassy porcine cousin, sausage!  I also was fortunate enough to have in my possession, one bag of frozen jumbo shrimp.  Pasta was out, so I settled on our Costco tub of quinoa.  Even I was surprised with how good this turned out, considering that I had no vegetables to speak of and was feeling selfish about my cooking "liquid".

To make my faux jambalaya you will need:
1 lb fresh or frozen shrimp, jumbo works best (if you choose frozen, allow extra reducing time for the extra water the ice will add to your sauce)
1 lb pork sausage
1 small onion
1 12 oz can diced tomatoes (I prefer no salt added)
3 tablespoons tomato paste
1/4 cup dry red wine (yep, I thought the sausage looked thirsty too...)
2 12 oz cans of chicken stock
1 cup (dry) plain quinoa (DO NOT use the kind that is pre-seasoned, this is a mistake I have made and hope never to repeat...)
2 cups fresh spinach
Chili flakes to taste (about 1 teaspoon will give you a medium-spicy result)
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon dried parsley
cracked black pepper and salt to taste

For the quinoa:
Heat 2 tablespoons-ish of olive oil in the bottom of a medium sauce pan.  Finely chop your smalll onion.  On medium-high heat brown onion, and add quinoa to toast it.  Once your quinoa is golden brown, add one can of chicken stock. Cover and let liquid absorb.  Repeat process with more stock until quinoa is tender.  Season lightly with salt, pepper, and cumin (to taste, not the 1/2 tsp. listed above).  Add in a handful of spinach at a time, allow the previous handful to wilt before adding another.  Cover and keep on warm until your shrimp and sausage mixture is done.

For the jambalaya:
In a separate pan, brown sausage, adding chili flake and powder to taste.  Add in tomatoes, tomato paste, cumin, celery, coriander, and roughly a half a can of stock, and red wine.  Add in shrimp (if raw, allow them to cook in sauce until pink and sauce is reduced, if frozen allow to cook in sauce until it is nicely reduced, and dare I say it, roughly the thickness of spaghetti sauce).  Once reduced, salt and pepper to taste, and fold into quinoa.

Here's to variety most certainly being the spice of life!  This time of year, allow yourself to reflect on what really matters most.  Whether it's your fat cat, your loving family, a warm home, enthusiastic students, great co-workers, good friends or fine wine, find what makes you happiest and celebrate it!  True thankfulness for what we have is the best gift we can give ourselves.

As always, happy cooking, happier eating, love and best fishes, Butterballs!  May Santa find your bellies full, glasses empty, and pants delightfully too tight!  Mwah!
 

Pear Tarts and Food Network Star

Since before I could hold a saxophone, I was standing in front of my mom's gigantic video camera pretending to make chocolate chip cookies on TV. Thus, it was only natural I force my husband to stand in the kitchen with me for several hours while I wore a sundress and pretended to make Pear and Brie tarts for an audition video for Next Food Network Star, Season 8.

This all started because I've been talking about auditioning for the show for the last 3 years. Finally, I went online to look up audition requirements for the show at the prodding of my dear New Jersey friend Guido, also know as Danielle but she's a guido through and through. I discovered that in all actuality, auditions were going to be held in a conference room behind a hotel in Las Vegas that we were going to be staying at the very next week, on the very same day we were going to be there for my Grandma Dee's 80th birthday. Obviously I love my grandmother more than Food Network so I couldn't miss her party for the auditions, but how weird is that? The odds are like, 1 in 10 billion. Things like that don't just happen, so even though I couldn't audition that day, quite clearly Baby Jesus, or Buddha, or Joe Dimaggio or whoever delivers prophecies from the grand beyond was telling me that I had to audition for the show in some way, shape or form. So I did. I made a three minute movie about pear tarts, and why food is the end all and be all of all good things in this world. Butters made an appearance halfway through because he knows good things are coming when the oven is on. I had to tell them my "POV" or point of view, about food, and why I should have my own show. My POV is mainly that the world would be alot better place if the people who watched Food Network all the time actually cooked like they did, and that a good, healthy meal is only as hard as you make it. Clearly I should have my own show on Food Network because I make great pear tarts.

Crust:
Really you can use any simple pie crust recipe for this tart, or, you can roll out a store bought pie crust super thin.

Filling:
2 tbsp of butter, cut into cubes
1/8 cup of brown sugar
3 oz. of brie, rhind removed
1 slightly under-ripe pear

Glaze:
1 tbsp orange marmalade
1 egg

Roll out pie crust to about 1/8 of an inch, it can be any shape you desire, but if you give it corners, it will probably be crusty (not that there's anything wrong with crusty, just the best part of this tart is how gooey it is). Leaving two inches of crust around the edges, layer filling ingredients in this order: Butter, half the brown sugar, brie, pears, rest of the brown sugar. Fold the remaining crust over the edges of the filling, leaving the center exposed. Whisk together the egg and orange marmalade, brush liberally over the crust. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes, or until crust is golden brown. Let cool slightly, as it gives the butter, cheese, brown sugar and pears time to combine into a delightful goo. Cut into wedges, die of deliciousness. Repeat.