"No fear!" ~Julia Child

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Tis the Season for Peachy "Quin" Jambalaya!!!!!

Howdy Butterballs!
Long time no eat!  Turns out that teaching keeps you a little bit busy, but don't feel singled out!  Not only have I not cooked for you in months, I haven't cooked for the husband or myself either.  When you spend all your time at work or passed out in exhaustion on the couch, you cook things like spaghetti sauce, tacos, spaghetti sauce, or McDonald's.  The beauty of all of these things is that they all pair beautifully with cheap red wine.  This laziness also has a tendency to bleed over into weekend days.  I find that if I can't put it in the Crockpot with wine, garlic and an onion and expect reasonably tasty results, I will make Papa John's (which would not be so bad, except I would rather pay the $3 delivery fee than walk the block and a half from my house to their storefront to pick it up). 

With the holiday season upon us, music teachers find themselves faced with an additional seasonal task of preparing and executing the annual holiday program.  As this is the very first program I will be preparing entirely on my own, I find myself flying into a logistical obstacle course.  I am so lucky to have the amazing students that I do.  They are enthusiastic, adorable and eager to show off their seasoned woodblock skills, and I am already exhausted and we are still 10 days out.  The lack of cooking going on in my house has also resulted in a complete lack of left-overs for lunching purposes.  Luckily my room has a closet that I keep filled to the brim with goldfish crackers, fruit and bags of popcorn, or I would probably be SOL, and no, not a needle pulling thread (Ha!  10 points for a superfluous Sound of Music joke... anyone?).  I recently came to the conclusion that this will probably not improve anytime soon, so I made the addition of dried fruit, little baby hummus cups from Costco and these super fancy quinoa chips!  Hopefully this will prevent me from developing rickets. 

In the spirit of this busy holiday season, I bring you good tidings of all things spicy.  As we go deeper into the wrapping paper, plastic tree and cookie abyss, I find that one more hearty stew or pot roast will likely push me over the edge.  I love a good bourguignon as much as the next American, but I also find more and more everyday that cooking with wine is nice, but makes me wish there was more wine left for me when I am finished (greedy, greedy beef shank...).  This fact coupled with the feeling of deep and utter dread I felt upon coming home faced with the prospect of yet another dinner made out of some nondescript animal's "burger" sparked within me a rebellious revolution.  So naturally, I turned to burger's sassy porcine cousin, sausage!  I also was fortunate enough to have in my possession, one bag of frozen jumbo shrimp.  Pasta was out, so I settled on our Costco tub of quinoa.  Even I was surprised with how good this turned out, considering that I had no vegetables to speak of and was feeling selfish about my cooking "liquid".

To make my faux jambalaya you will need:
1 lb fresh or frozen shrimp, jumbo works best (if you choose frozen, allow extra reducing time for the extra water the ice will add to your sauce)
1 lb pork sausage
1 small onion
1 12 oz can diced tomatoes (I prefer no salt added)
3 tablespoons tomato paste
1/4 cup dry red wine (yep, I thought the sausage looked thirsty too...)
2 12 oz cans of chicken stock
1 cup (dry) plain quinoa (DO NOT use the kind that is pre-seasoned, this is a mistake I have made and hope never to repeat...)
2 cups fresh spinach
Chili flakes to taste (about 1 teaspoon will give you a medium-spicy result)
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1 tablespoon dried parsley
cracked black pepper and salt to taste

For the quinoa:
Heat 2 tablespoons-ish of olive oil in the bottom of a medium sauce pan.  Finely chop your smalll onion.  On medium-high heat brown onion, and add quinoa to toast it.  Once your quinoa is golden brown, add one can of chicken stock. Cover and let liquid absorb.  Repeat process with more stock until quinoa is tender.  Season lightly with salt, pepper, and cumin (to taste, not the 1/2 tsp. listed above).  Add in a handful of spinach at a time, allow the previous handful to wilt before adding another.  Cover and keep on warm until your shrimp and sausage mixture is done.

For the jambalaya:
In a separate pan, brown sausage, adding chili flake and powder to taste.  Add in tomatoes, tomato paste, cumin, celery, coriander, and roughly a half a can of stock, and red wine.  Add in shrimp (if raw, allow them to cook in sauce until pink and sauce is reduced, if frozen allow to cook in sauce until it is nicely reduced, and dare I say it, roughly the thickness of spaghetti sauce).  Once reduced, salt and pepper to taste, and fold into quinoa.

Here's to variety most certainly being the spice of life!  This time of year, allow yourself to reflect on what really matters most.  Whether it's your fat cat, your loving family, a warm home, enthusiastic students, great co-workers, good friends or fine wine, find what makes you happiest and celebrate it!  True thankfulness for what we have is the best gift we can give ourselves.

As always, happy cooking, happier eating, love and best fishes, Butterballs!  May Santa find your bellies full, glasses empty, and pants delightfully too tight!  Mwah!
 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Fall Explosion Squash Casserole!!!!

Hey y'all Butterballs!  Long time no heartburn!
It's that time again!!!  The time of year where yours truly buys 1 bag of Double Stuff'd orange, Halloween Oreos and eats the whole thing in under a week.  Don't try and stop me, I already did it, and I have absolutely no regrets.  My Paula Deen Mystery Pecan Pie candle has also been lit approximately 24 hours a day for the last 2 weeks (the "mystery" is where to find the pie, hardy har har...).  My closet is stocked with corduroy, Matt has begun to wear pants again, and Butters is holed up under the entry way table waiting for the furnace to kick on (joke's on him, I moved the table 3 months ago and the heater is still where it used to be...).  That's right dumplings, it's Fall!  In honor of the first day of fall, I thought I would write a long over-due blog entry about this really Fall-tastic casserole I invented last week.  I was also invited along on a "First Day of Fall" fishing trip by one of my first graders, who I suspect had the slightly impure motive of setting me up with his Dad.  I politely declined.

Another thing that comes along with Fall is school.  I've been teaching music in Stevensville, Montana for the last three weeks.  It is beyond rewarding, but also beyond exhausting.  My cooking has somewhat ebbed in the last month, what with my bedtime being 4:30 p.m.  In fact, aside from my bag of Oreos and the occasional teachers' lounge slice of pie, I have been living off of spinach and a giant milk carton full of Goldfish crackers.  I really didn't see anything wrong with this until a co-worker came to my office to invite me to lunch, and I had already eaten my Dixie cup of crackers by 10:30 in the morning.  I wanted to say I had already eaten, but I knew in my heart it just wasn't true.  I also did not want another Dixie cup of crackers, so I took a raincheck.  The next day I made sure to bring an apple so it would outwardly appear that I had made a purposeful attempt to pack something.  If you bring a carton of crackers to lunch, that looks half assed.  If you put your crackers in a baggy, bring an apple and a cup of coffee, now that's a freakin' smorgasbord.  Can you make a workers comp claim for elementary school related malnutrition?  Then I went home and fell asleep in front of Billy the Exterminator.  When did I have time to invent casserole you may ask?  Oh, around 9:30 at night.  I woke up from a nap with a powerful hankering for spaghetti squash (which could be somewhat related to my separation anxiety since Pecker left for Seattle and took her bountiful supply of spaghetti squash with her...), and before I could go back to sleep I had to roast something out of heartache.

Now, along with the powerful urge to sleep 16 hours a day comes the inability to effectively grocery shop.  If I do go to the store I buy a bottle of wine and a magazine about Snooki's baby.  I bought a box of plums once but that was almost a month ago and I didn't eat a single one.  I would put three in a baggy to take to work, promptly leave it on the counter when I ran out of the house for carpool, and then Matt would take them to work.  Good news:  my husband assumed me much more thoughtful than I actually am for several weeks when he found the plums and thought I had packed them for him to take to the office.  Bad news:  My life has been decidedly plum free.  After this experience I have decided fresh produce is more trouble than it's worth.  My life has somewhat become an hommage to Chopped.  On this particular casserole inventing evening, I had:

16 lbs of elk meat (not an exaggeration)
3 homegrown spaghetti squash
1 giant bag of cheese about to go bad (I've recently cut back on dairy for health reasons, but that is another long and over-informative tale)
1 bag of overpriced raw quinoa
1 can of breadcrumbs
5 lbs (not an exaggeration) of spinach
1 bag of onions
brown sugar
1/2 bag Halloween Oreos
3 bottles of cheap chardonnay
1 6 pack Summer Honey
1 stale bag of cheetos
olive oil
1 jar marshmallow fluff
1/2 of a week old pizza

I  threw the pizza away and set to work.  To make my fall explosion casserole you will need the following:

2 lbs of ground meat, well seasoned (I chose spicy elk breakfast sausage)
1 small spaghetti squash
1 cup of cheese, a shredded jack blend works well
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp of garlic, finely chopped
1.5 lbs (uncooked) spinach
1 cup uncooked quinoa (will yield 3 cups cooked)
3 tbsp bread crumbs (mine were Italian blend)

To prepare squash:
Preheat oven to 400-425 degrees.  I do about 425, but as you may have learned, I am not super patient.  Chop ends off of squash and slice it in half length wise.  Place in baking dish skin side down, add about 1/2 inch of water to the dish, wrap with foil.  Roast for about 30-45 minutes.

I let my squash roast for about 20 minutes before I started the rest of the casserole.

For the Quinoa:
You can prepare this per package directions, but my way is better (no one ever accused me of sugarcoating...).  In a medium sauce pan, heat about 2 tbsp of olive oil.  Add onion and garlic and saute until translucent.  Add a little more oil and quinoa.  Over medium-high heat, toast until quinoa is a mottled brown.  Add in 3 cups of water (or stock if you have it), let the liquid cook out, add more and repeat process until quinoa is tender.  Season with garlic salt, Italian seasoning, cumin and pepper.

While quinoa is boiling, begin browning meat.  Once cooked through, reserve in a large bowl.  Using whatever grease is left from the meat, turn heat to medium and add in spinach.  Add in by handfuls until it's fully wilted.  Add to bowl with meat, and quinoa.  When squash is fork tender.  VERY CAREFULLY (READ: HOT), spoon squash strands into bowl with other ingredients.  Add in a handful of cheese, mix thoroughly.  Move mixture to size adequate baking dish, sprinkle with cheese and breadcrumb, put under broiler until cheese is melted and crumbs are browned.  VOILA!  Fall in a gooey, meaty, delicious package.

This also makes excellent leftovers.  In addition, it is not the least healthy thing I have ever blogged for you, jam packed full of protein!  Yessir!

In parting Butterballs, roll yourself up in a sweater, make a nice sugar based coffee drink, and hook up your pants expanders, Fall is here, and I wouldn't want to be spending it with any cooler cats!

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

So Happy to MEAT You Again...

HELLLOOOOOOOO BUTTERBALLS!!!!

I return to you after a long hiatus of student teaching, music programs, actual teaching for cash-monies, graduations, road trips, and a WHOLE LOT OF TAKE-OUT.  I apologize for my lengthy absence, you see, when you teach, you do absolutely nothing else.  Now don't get me wrong, I adore my line of work and find it incredibly rewarding.  I was fortunate enough to not only get to sub for the lovely choir director at Florence-Carlton school while she was on maternity leave this spring, but to also accept a general music job in Stevensville this fall.  I am one lucky lady, and after all that, all I wanted to do was sleep, and that is 90% of what I've done since last Thursday.  Now that I am alive, refreshed, and most of all, hungry, I can't wait for us to start cooking together again!

We have so many exciting things to look forward to!  For one, I am now the proud owner of an iPad, so I plan to use this wonderful technology (which is far more complicated than my previous experience of turning my laptop on and off/operating my microwave, i.e. my only technological experience to date...) to make videos for the interweb.  Especially during these summer weeks, Butters and I are planning on making you a new food movie every week.  The relative informativeness of these creations has yet to be determined, but there will most likely be wigs and musical entertainment so... win?

For two, I have recently come into ownership of a magic time-capsule box from the 1960's.  This is a giant box (i.e. like a shoebox...) that is full of absolutely ridiculous cooking school/entertaining recipes from the year of our Lord, 1962.  I found it in a pile of crap at an antique store in Clarkston, Washington yesterday while Matt and I were on a mini-vacation.  Matt and I have been antiquing for about as long as there have been humans on the Earth.  I have a very specific antiquing technique.  It's called, "Find the Weirdest/Most Amazing Thing You Never Knew You Always Wanted/Needed and Only Buy It If It is Damn Near Free".  I purchased the box for $10 plus tax.  This is a SCREAMING deal because 1.) the box is made of some sort of wood product, and 2.) It was full of roughly ONE MILLION recipes that will entertain us all for weeks.  You're welcome.  I'm planning on drawing one of these at random from now until the end of time and making movies/blogs about them soooooo there will be THAT to look forward to.  I skimmed them briefly today and apparently we're going to be learning alot about aspic and chop suey, the dishes du jour of 1962.

Until I get what is sure to be a cinematic/culinary masterpiece online tomorrow/the next day, I do, in fact have a new and exciting recipe to share with y'all.  I made this for our buddies Rebecca and Garrett the other day when we had a fancy dinner party.  I should clarify this by saying the term "fancy dinner party" at our house is alot of Matt making sure I don't cut/burn myself while I drink wine barefoot and throw things in pans.  These were a modification on a recipe my Mom makes (I'm guessing... I have never actually looked at that recipe, but the whole "meat-tortilla" thing seemed pretty familiar...) on occasion for Sunday dinner.

Stuffed Meat Thingies with Spinach and Cheese:

You'll Need:
8-10 (or enough for each guest to eat two....) thin, poundable cuts of beef
3 cups bread crumbs
2 cups flour
2 eggs
1/4 cup milk
salt and pepper to taste
4 cups spinach cut in chiffonade ribbons
1 onion finely diced
1 cup of assorted cheeses (I used parmesan, mexi-blend, and some sharp cheddar)
3 garlic cloves finely chopped

Start by pounding out the beef into roughly 6 inch rounds (this is what you'll make your meat tortillas out of...), set to the side.  Chiffonade the spinach, chop the onion and garlic, and sautee/wilt in about 3 tablespoons of olive oil.   Place 1 cup of bread crumbs, and chosen cheese into a large-ish bowl.  Add in your wilted spinach/onions and garlic. 

In three flat containers (for the sake of easy cleaning, I go the ugly-American-who-doesn't-own-a dishwasher-route and use a paper plate for each item...  this lets you trash everything so you have the prep surface to use for other things.  I realize this is not at all "green", but you of course should feel free to use non-disposables...) make an egg wash with your egg and milk, fill one with flour, and the other with salt-and peppered bread-crumbs.

Assembly:
Lay out meat, fill with roughly one to two ounces of filling.  Roll it up, secure with one or two toothpicks.  Roll in flour, dip in egg, then roll in bread crumbs.  Fry in olive oil set to medium high until bread crumbs are golden brown.  If you are not a fan of slightly rare meat, you can finish in the oven at 350 for about five to ten minutes.  After this you have alot of serving options- you can make a pan gravy out of the pan drippings and serve with mashed potatoes, or serve over your choice of pasta (spinach would carry the theme through nicely).  Best paired with a salad or other light vegetable to help cut the whole Cheese-Filled-Fried-Meat thing.

Enjoy, my lovelies!  Can't wait to reconnect over a steaming bowl of awesome this summer!  Mwah!

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Snowpocalypse 2012 and Snuggle Soup


Hey there Butterballs, and welcome to my snow fortress!



For the last four days or so, Missoula has apparently been having it's seventh worst winter storm since 1850-something. We've gotten over a foot of snow, plus an inch of freezing rain, which really puts a nice shiny finish on the glacier that is my back yard. It started on Wednesday when I was teaching in Florence. It took me about forty minutes to travel the 20 miles back home. Shortly thereafter, God opened up his curtains of doom and dumped about a million pounds of icy awesome on our heads. School got canceled the next day (which is good, because little Quimbie the Beetle car couldn't even see over the drifts...), and it took six neighbors two days to dig/snowblow our cars out of the driveway. We managed to get both our cars into one clear parking spot, and called it a weekend. I've since shoveled about 12 tons of snow for the sole purpose that our mailman could deliver what ended up being pizza coupons, and a Bon Apetit magazine.

Butters is not a fan of the snow. He has not come off the couch in approximately five days. Not that he did that a lot anyway, just that his level of lazy has gone up about 1200%. I.e. Butters has a pulse and that's about it right now. I've tried to sway him with everything from kitty kibble, to new toys, etc. Not. Having. It.

So those of you who don't live in Hell's freezer might ask, "So what does one do during snowpocalypse?" You actually have several options:

1. You can get day drunk and make snow people versions of yourself an your roommates in the yard. (I'm lookin at YOU, Pecker)

2. Shovel until you tear something.

3. Watch your across the street neighbor angry-shovel at midnight.

4. Wrestle a polar bear.

5. Draw colored pencil portraits of your giant cat.

6. Make Snuggle Soup with Pecker, Caitlin, Rebecca, and your long-suffering husband!

Snuggle soup originated when Caitlin wrote on my Facebook Wall asking if we could make snuggly soup. I, of course, instantly misread this as Snuggle Soup. As in, an actual existing recipe, for something called Snuggle Soup. This did not actually exist until we combined all our ingredients in the Chopped test kitchen (sometimes known as my house), and invented it. Turns out Snuggle Soup is a broth-y southwest thing that you dip tortilla triangles in, and this is how you make it:

You'll need:
2 Chicken breasts
1 lb of spicy sausage
2 cans of chicken stock
1 pint of water
3 large carrots, cut on the bias
1 large onion, roughly chopped
1 can garbanzo beans
1 can black beans
1 lime, cut in half and the juice of it
2 tbsp taco seasoning
1 tbsp garlic
2 tsp cracked black pepper
2 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
tortillas
1 cup-ish cheddar cheese

Drain and rinse bot kinds of beans in a colander. Break up the sausage and cook in a large stock pot, reserve, use left over grease to cook chicken. Cube the chicken breasts, cook until slightly browned, reserve. Add a little more oil of your choice (obviously I like olive...), cook garlic, onion and carrot on medium heat until translucent (for the onion, if your carrot is translucent, you should probably not be eating it...), and slightly brown for the carrot. add the meat back in, and pour the stock and water in on top of it. Add in spices, lime juice and the halves of the lime. heat through, add in the beans. Let simmer until the beans have started to thicken the broth a little.

For the tortilla crisps for dippin!
Heat a little oil in a frying pan, add tortilla, sprinkle with cheese. Let cheese melt, flip, let the cheese get crusty. Repeat until you have about two tortillas for each person being served.

Enjoy! Snuggle down for the long, harsh winter, Nanook! You deserve it! You can always pretend the snow is sand and that you are on the beach. Just don't like, go outside in minimal clothing or you will probably get hypothermia, but no need to fret! You have a big old pot of Snuggle Soup to keep you warm!

Isn't that the beachiest beach that ever beached a beach!

Not really. That's our yard under about ninety million tons of snow.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Cat is Back!

Butterballs, butterballs, my how I've missed you! This will be my first blog in over a month, and since we have just barely tipped over into the unknown abyss that will be 2012, this will be all about things I am thankful for, and of course, my dear Butterballs, this means you!

My prolonged absence has been mostly due to a lack of computer, as my dear old lime green laptop Bart went down in a blaze of glory trying to download the massive program, Sibelius. I woke up one morning to the blue screen of death, and made the decision to let him go peacefully. I am now coming to you live from my new, chocolate brown Dell, who I have lovingly dubbed, Paula. You can only surmise who the inspiration was :) So naturally, I am very thankful for my new technology, so I can write to you lovely people every so often!

That being said, I would also like to express my deepest condolences to our Patron Saint of Butter, Paula Deen, who has recently been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Say what you want about our deep frying Goddess, but I'd like to meet a single soul who would turn down a meal made by that woman.

In spite of how busy we've all been trying to be grown-ups in the new year, my Hunnies and I have managed to reserve time at least once a week to cook dinner at the Homestead. These gatherings are alot like an episode of Chopped. It starts with one of us sending a mass text, and ends with a myriad of ingredients and wine drinking in my kitchen. This week we ended up with the following:

Pecker: The usual spaghetti squash. See, we just thought Megan REALLY liked squash, but it turns out that somehow over the weeks that we've been enjoying this squash, we've missed the fact that her parents actually grew all of those squash. This was somewhat of a relief as I think we all had secretly come to believe that Pecker had a back alley squash supplier.

Guido: Mozzarella cheese. Or MOH-SAH-RELLLLLLLLL as they say in Jersey ;) Oh, and that delicious bread that they sell in all grocery stores that comes pre-sliced in half with garlic and butter product in the middle. All you have to do is throw it in the oven for about 15 minutes and it tastes like it's been kissed by Our Lady of Lard, Paula.

Hornpipes and Corny: Lettuce, because someone has to save us from our gourdy and buttery selves.

So you may ask, "What on Earth can you make with that crap?" And the answer is: Cheese stuffed meatballs with red gravy and spaghetti squash and lard bread for dippin, of course! And a healthy salad to cleanse the arteries.

For 12 meatballs (no one said this was a diet dish...):
1 lb spicy Italian sausage
1 lb burger
1 egg
1 cup grated parmesan
1/2 a yellow onion, finely chopped
2 tbsp each basil, oregano
garlic salt
coarse ground black pepper
1 cup shredded mozzarella (this melts easier than cubes, and allows you to skip that meatball drying step of baking after you've fried them)

For frying:
1 cup olive oil

Pour oil in pan and turn on medium-high. Combine all the ingredients except the mozzarella in a large mixing bowl. Next comes the satisfying part. This is what my Dad and I have fondly dubbed over the years (and a VERY technical term, I might add), schmooshing. Schmooshing is the process of combining ingredients with one's hands until they cannot be separated. Take a small handful of meat, roll into a ball, and then squish a little to form a cup. You should take a lump of the cheese about the size of a large malted milk ball, and push it into the meat. Take another small wad of meat (such an appetizing term, "wad"...), flatten it out, and place it on top of the cheese, seal the meat until you can no longer see the cheese. Place in hot oil, fry on all sides until dark brown.

For the gravy:
One large can of tomato sauce
2 tbsp each garlic powder, basil, and oregano.

Combine in sauce pan until barely bubbling. Annnnd that's it.

For the spaghetti squash:
1 large spaghetti squash (about 5 lbs)
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp cumin
garlic salt and pepper to taste
3 tbsp olive oil

Now, one does not simply walk into a spaghetti squash (ha haaaaa). The prep is a labor of love, and takes some time.

Prep of a spaghetti squash:
Using a VERY BIG knife, or food machete, as I like to call it, remove the ends of the spaghetti squash. THIS IS THE HARDEST PART. Do not cut your fingers off, because if you do, you will never be able to make this again, and that would be truly sad. You can either roast these ends, or throw them away, because they are tough as whale bone. Once you have removed the ends, stand the squash up on one of the now flat ends, slice down each side in turn with your food machete. Fill a large baking dish with one inch or so of water, place the squash skin side down in the water, cover with foil, and roast at 400 degrees. This takes varied amounts of time. Once you can pierce the squash with a fork, take it out of the oven. Heat the oil in a large frying pan. scrape the meat of the squash into it, and add spices.

I am so thankful to be starting a new, wonderful year with my friends and family. Even if the Mayans were right and we're all going to die this December, I'll be going out in a blaze of meat, cheese, and love, and that my friends, is what it's all about :)