Fall Explosion Squash Casserole!!!!

Hey y'all Butterballs!  Long time no heartburn!
It's that time again!!!  The time of year where yours truly buys 1 bag of Double Stuff'd orange, Halloween Oreos and eats the whole thing in under a week.  Don't try and stop me, I already did it, and I have absolutely no regrets.  My Paula Deen Mystery Pecan Pie candle has also been lit approximately 24 hours a day for the last 2 weeks (the "mystery" is where to find the pie, hardy har har...).  My closet is stocked with corduroy, Matt has begun to wear pants again, and Butters is holed up under the entry way table waiting for the furnace to kick on (joke's on him, I moved the table 3 months ago and the heater is still where it used to be...).  That's right dumplings, it's Fall!  In honor of the first day of fall, I thought I would write a long over-due blog entry about this really Fall-tastic casserole I invented last week.  I was also invited along on a "First Day of Fall" fishing trip by one of my first graders, who I suspect had the slightly impure motive of setting me up with his Dad.  I politely declined.

Another thing that comes along with Fall is school.  I've been teaching music in Stevensville, Montana for the last three weeks.  It is beyond rewarding, but also beyond exhausting.  My cooking has somewhat ebbed in the last month, what with my bedtime being 4:30 p.m.  In fact, aside from my bag of Oreos and the occasional teachers' lounge slice of pie, I have been living off of spinach and a giant milk carton full of Goldfish crackers.  I really didn't see anything wrong with this until a co-worker came to my office to invite me to lunch, and I had already eaten my Dixie cup of crackers by 10:30 in the morning.  I wanted to say I had already eaten, but I knew in my heart it just wasn't true.  I also did not want another Dixie cup of crackers, so I took a raincheck.  The next day I made sure to bring an apple so it would outwardly appear that I had made a purposeful attempt to pack something.  If you bring a carton of crackers to lunch, that looks half assed.  If you put your crackers in a baggy, bring an apple and a cup of coffee, now that's a freakin' smorgasbord.  Can you make a workers comp claim for elementary school related malnutrition?  Then I went home and fell asleep in front of Billy the Exterminator.  When did I have time to invent casserole you may ask?  Oh, around 9:30 at night.  I woke up from a nap with a powerful hankering for spaghetti squash (which could be somewhat related to my separation anxiety since Pecker left for Seattle and took her bountiful supply of spaghetti squash with her...), and before I could go back to sleep I had to roast something out of heartache.

Now, along with the powerful urge to sleep 16 hours a day comes the inability to effectively grocery shop.  If I do go to the store I buy a bottle of wine and a magazine about Snooki's baby.  I bought a box of plums once but that was almost a month ago and I didn't eat a single one.  I would put three in a baggy to take to work, promptly leave it on the counter when I ran out of the house for carpool, and then Matt would take them to work.  Good news:  my husband assumed me much more thoughtful than I actually am for several weeks when he found the plums and thought I had packed them for him to take to the office.  Bad news:  My life has been decidedly plum free.  After this experience I have decided fresh produce is more trouble than it's worth.  My life has somewhat become an hommage to Chopped.  On this particular casserole inventing evening, I had:

16 lbs of elk meat (not an exaggeration)
3 homegrown spaghetti squash
1 giant bag of cheese about to go bad (I've recently cut back on dairy for health reasons, but that is another long and over-informative tale)
1 bag of overpriced raw quinoa
1 can of breadcrumbs
5 lbs (not an exaggeration) of spinach
1 bag of onions
brown sugar
1/2 bag Halloween Oreos
3 bottles of cheap chardonnay
1 6 pack Summer Honey
1 stale bag of cheetos
olive oil
1 jar marshmallow fluff
1/2 of a week old pizza

I  threw the pizza away and set to work.  To make my fall explosion casserole you will need the following:

2 lbs of ground meat, well seasoned (I chose spicy elk breakfast sausage)
1 small spaghetti squash
1 cup of cheese, a shredded jack blend works well
1 large onion, finely chopped
1 tbsp of garlic, finely chopped
1.5 lbs (uncooked) spinach
1 cup uncooked quinoa (will yield 3 cups cooked)
3 tbsp bread crumbs (mine were Italian blend)

To prepare squash:
Preheat oven to 400-425 degrees.  I do about 425, but as you may have learned, I am not super patient.  Chop ends off of squash and slice it in half length wise.  Place in baking dish skin side down, add about 1/2 inch of water to the dish, wrap with foil.  Roast for about 30-45 minutes.

I let my squash roast for about 20 minutes before I started the rest of the casserole.

For the Quinoa:
You can prepare this per package directions, but my way is better (no one ever accused me of sugarcoating...).  In a medium sauce pan, heat about 2 tbsp of olive oil.  Add onion and garlic and saute until translucent.  Add a little more oil and quinoa.  Over medium-high heat, toast until quinoa is a mottled brown.  Add in 3 cups of water (or stock if you have it), let the liquid cook out, add more and repeat process until quinoa is tender.  Season with garlic salt, Italian seasoning, cumin and pepper.

While quinoa is boiling, begin browning meat.  Once cooked through, reserve in a large bowl.  Using whatever grease is left from the meat, turn heat to medium and add in spinach.  Add in by handfuls until it's fully wilted.  Add to bowl with meat, and quinoa.  When squash is fork tender.  VERY CAREFULLY (READ: HOT), spoon squash strands into bowl with other ingredients.  Add in a handful of cheese, mix thoroughly.  Move mixture to size adequate baking dish, sprinkle with cheese and breadcrumb, put under broiler until cheese is melted and crumbs are browned.  VOILA!  Fall in a gooey, meaty, delicious package.

This also makes excellent leftovers.  In addition, it is not the least healthy thing I have ever blogged for you, jam packed full of protein!  Yessir!

In parting Butterballs, roll yourself up in a sweater, make a nice sugar based coffee drink, and hook up your pants expanders, Fall is here, and I wouldn't want to be spending it with any cooler cats!

Pear Tarts and Food Network Star

Since before I could hold a saxophone, I was standing in front of my mom's gigantic video camera pretending to make chocolate chip cookies on TV. Thus, it was only natural I force my husband to stand in the kitchen with me for several hours while I wore a sundress and pretended to make Pear and Brie tarts for an audition video for Next Food Network Star, Season 8.

This all started because I've been talking about auditioning for the show for the last 3 years. Finally, I went online to look up audition requirements for the show at the prodding of my dear New Jersey friend Guido, also know as Danielle but she's a guido through and through. I discovered that in all actuality, auditions were going to be held in a conference room behind a hotel in Las Vegas that we were going to be staying at the very next week, on the very same day we were going to be there for my Grandma Dee's 80th birthday. Obviously I love my grandmother more than Food Network so I couldn't miss her party for the auditions, but how weird is that? The odds are like, 1 in 10 billion. Things like that don't just happen, so even though I couldn't audition that day, quite clearly Baby Jesus, or Buddha, or Joe Dimaggio or whoever delivers prophecies from the grand beyond was telling me that I had to audition for the show in some way, shape or form. So I did. I made a three minute movie about pear tarts, and why food is the end all and be all of all good things in this world. Butters made an appearance halfway through because he knows good things are coming when the oven is on. I had to tell them my "POV" or point of view, about food, and why I should have my own show. My POV is mainly that the world would be alot better place if the people who watched Food Network all the time actually cooked like they did, and that a good, healthy meal is only as hard as you make it. Clearly I should have my own show on Food Network because I make great pear tarts.

Crust:
Really you can use any simple pie crust recipe for this tart, or, you can roll out a store bought pie crust super thin.

Filling:
2 tbsp of butter, cut into cubes
1/8 cup of brown sugar
3 oz. of brie, rhind removed
1 slightly under-ripe pear

Glaze:
1 tbsp orange marmalade
1 egg

Roll out pie crust to about 1/8 of an inch, it can be any shape you desire, but if you give it corners, it will probably be crusty (not that there's anything wrong with crusty, just the best part of this tart is how gooey it is). Leaving two inches of crust around the edges, layer filling ingredients in this order: Butter, half the brown sugar, brie, pears, rest of the brown sugar. Fold the remaining crust over the edges of the filling, leaving the center exposed. Whisk together the egg and orange marmalade, brush liberally over the crust. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes, or until crust is golden brown. Let cool slightly, as it gives the butter, cheese, brown sugar and pears time to combine into a delightful goo. Cut into wedges, die of deliciousness. Repeat.